Collisions
by MistressH
Summary: Three years ago after a collision, 20 year old Ana Steele's life and family was torn apart. She built a wall around her heart to never have to feel that kind of pain again. After a small accident she's put on a path which will lead to love and happiness, that is if she's willing to take a chance. AU, OOC All characters belong to EL James
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **Ana**

As a child growing up I used to try and picture my future, imagine what my life might be like, the career I might choose, the things I couldn't wait to experience with my friends, places I wished to travel to, what my wedding would look like and if I would have children. Each time I did so, I saw myself happy and carefree, however no matter how many times those dreams changed there was always one constant, one person I saw beside me each step of the way, my little brother Andrew. Not so little seeing as there was only eighteen months between us, he was wiser than his years and my closest friend, but then life has a way of blind siding you, when you least expect it your entire life is torn apart, it changes the person you once were. It's been almost three years since he was taken from us, three years since that accident which I can still see as clear as the night it happened, the images burned into my memory forever more and the pain just as debilitating if I allow it free. I read somewhere that you don't get over it, you just get through it, I'm still getting through it.

Shaking my head to clear it of these painful thoughts I concentrate on the road in front of me. I moved to Seattle two weeks ago after finally graduating college. It took me longer than it should have but I got there in the end and I'm proud of myself and of what I accomplished. I took a year off not knowing if I would ever go back to finish studying or give it all up, not having the desire or motivation to even open up a single book to read, but I did and it was the best thing I did for myself both mentally and emotionally. My parents convinced me to not give up either and it was one of the few times I actually took their advice.

It's now time to start my independent, adult life. I had a choice of a couple of cities however my best friend Mia calls Seattle home and she begged me to move here. I don't mind it, the rainy weather takes some getting used to and I did receive a wonderful job offer so it was a no brainer. Mia and I were roommates during her last two years at Washington State University and we spent most of our time together, she graduated with her business and marketing degree last year and has been working for her older brother ever since. He's some big business hot shot who runs his own company, I think it has something to do with computer games, and she's always raving about how great it is working for him.

I was also lucky enough to easily find a great small apartment to rent not far from where my new job starts in a month's time allowing me to be able to walks back and forth from work, I'm settling in and loving finding my way around, exploring the city.

It's the beginning of June and summer. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and for a rare change not a single cloud is in sight. The hustle and bustle of the city surrounds me, the noise and smells from the food vendors making me feel alive, pushing the sadness that hangs around away for a while. For a Saturday the streets and pavements are even busier than a usual work day.

I'm riding my bicycle on my way to meet Mia for lunch, I haven't had a chance to catch up with her since moving to the city as she was away at some convention for work last week and only returned last night. I'm on the road staying as close to the curb as possible to stay out of the way of the cars which continuously whizz past me.

As I'm minding my own business, peddling along, I feel a nudge to my back wheel causing my bike to wobble, knocking me down onto the hard asphalt as I lose control, falling onto my right hand side grazing my elbow. I sit up on my butt groaning while on the road, taking a look at my elbow which is slightly bleeding and stinging.

"Son of a bitch."

Behind me I hear a car door open and slamming shut before an angry voice starts yelling at me.

"Watch where you're going! Do you have a death wish?"

I turn my head around to see a tall copper haired, well-dressed man in a dark grey suit hovering above me, his eyes are hidden behind Ray Ban sunglasses but the scowl on his face making his feelings clear. I glance at his car, a fancy silver sports car but there's not a scratch on it. However my bike is ruined, the back wheel bent from the fall and half under the front of his vehicle.

 _Oh, no he didn't, how the hell is this my fault?_

"Me? I was watching, why don't you pay more attention to the road. Especially bike riders." I snap back at him. "Oh I'm fine by the way, don't bother helping me up."

I stand up to be on a more even level with him but I barely reach his shoulders.

"Is that so? Next time don't come into the path of an oncoming car." He crosses his arms over his broad chest, the sleeves of his jacket stretching.

"Are you insane? I was practically on the footpath, you're the one who came too close to me. Do you even know how to drive?" I yell back using my hand to gesture at him. He is unbelievable and managed to get my anger from one to about a thousand in three seconds.

"Look I don't have time for this." He reaches into his back pocket pulling out his wallet. "Here, get yourself a new bike."

He shoves two $100.00 bills into my hand, turns and walks away, climbing back into his car. Before I have the chance to react he's gunning the engine and driving off leaving me there with my mouth wide open in shock. My bike left lying in the middle of the road, with cars honking as they drive around it.

What a fucking asshole, no apology, nothing. I hope karma screws you over big time one day buddy.

I pick up my now unrideable bike pushing it the rest of the way to the restaurant where Mia is waiting for me. Luckily it's only one block over. I'm so mad. Who treats another person that way, I bet he's the type of person who is used to getting his way, consequences be damned. I glance at my elbow and note that the bleeding has almost stopped. Arriving at the Italian restaurant I lean my bike against the outside brick wall, no one will steal a bent bike, and step inside immediately finding Mia across the dining room as she waves at me.

She looks amazing dressed in her yellow blouse and red pants, compared to my casual jeans and striped white and navy gets up from her seat, as I make my way towards her around the other tables between us, we hug each other tightly once I reach her.

"I'm so happy you're finally here, Ana. I've missed you so much."

"Me too."

We have spoken over the phone but this is the first time we've seen each other in almost a year. As soon as we take our seats at the small round table, her eyes zero in on my arm with the dried blood stuck to me.

"Oh my God, what happened to your elbow?"

"It's fine, some moron ran me over, knocking me off my bike. It's fine, really."

She gives me a look and I know what that look means, _this wouldn't have happened if I drove_ , thankfully she drops it before rehashing that argument again.

She has already ordered a bottle of our favourite white wine so I pour a glass and take a large gulp. I look around the place never being here before, it's not very large but doesn't give the impression of being cramped, the walls are white with beautiful large black and white framed photographs of what I assume to be Seattle, the tables are all covered with crisp white table clothes with small round vases holding pastel orange and yellow flowers. It actually feels cosy with the sounds of chatter and of cutlery hitting on plates surrounding us.

"So how's the apartment, when do you start work?" She starts asking.

"In three weeks, the apartment is great, it already feels like home, my dad was here yesterday making sure everything is safe and in working order. You know how he is."

"I can't believe you were lucky enough to be selected to work at the Seattle Times, that's so exciting. Do you have any idea how many people apply to that paper?"

"Only as a copy editor, it's nothing glamorous."

"Maybe not, but it's a start at least and you'll be able to say you work for a newspaper, it just sounds cool, plus you'll probably have the time now to start writing that children's book you keep going on about."

"That's true." I smile to myself. For the last two years I've been making hand written notes of a story waiting for the day that I will finally start writing it out. With school finished there's nothing but my own fear holding me back now.

We spend the next hour catching up over a delicious pasta lunch and another half a bottle of wine. Mia is one of those people who can instantly cheer you up in a matter of minutes and make you forget about your worries for a while, it's one of the things I love most about her.

She looks down at her watch checking the time with a frown.

"I hate to cut this short but my brother is coming by here at 2:30 to pick me up, we're going to our parent's house and can't be late. It's my grandfather's birthday and mom is having a small get together for him. There he is now." She smiles as she glances at the door.

I glance towards the entrance to see a familiar gray suit walking towards our table. _You have got to be shitting me._

Mia waves and calls him over.

"Christian!"

He has taken his sunglasses off and my attention is drawn to his eyes. They are an intense gray. I have never seen anyone with that eye colour before.

"Well, if it's not the bitch with the bike." He remarks rudely with hands on his hips as he comes up to our table.

"CHRISTIAN!" Mia exclaims shocked.

"It's the rich asshole." I crane my neck back giving him a filthy look and crossing my arms which shows how unpleasant I find his presence.

Mia looks back and forth between us.

"Do you two know each other?" She asks with a confused frown.

"Yeah, he's the one who ran me over on my way over here. Your brother is certainly no gentleman."

"Didn't daddy ever teach you how to ride properly?"

I suddenly have the urge to smack his gorgeous face. _Whoa Ana, where the hell did that thought come from? He is not gorgeous, he's a jackass._

I quickly stand ready to give him a piece of my mind again but Mia also gets up, coming to stand between us.

"Okay…Christian I'll meet you outside."

"Don't be long." He demands.

"Just go." She growls at him.

With a final glare my way he turns away leaving the restaurant.

"I'm so sorry about my brother, Ana. He's usually nicer than that. Did he seriously knock you over?"

"It's not your fault, Mia."

As I explain to her exactly what occurred between us she is shaking her head in disbelief.

"I'll say something to him, he's probably had a bad day with work or something."

"Please don't, I'd rather forget it and him." I tell her.

We place our money on the table paying for our meal and begin making our way out together.

"Listen how are you getting home?" She asks.

"I'll just walk, it's not that far."

She wants to argue, I can see it in her eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'll see you next weekend. Say hi to your parents and tell your grandfather happy birthday for me."

"I will, they would love to catch up with you too soon."

With another hug outside the restaurant she walks away from me towards her brother's car as I grab my bike's handle bars and start my walk home pushing it beside me.

With each step I take the usual loneliness and heaviness fills my heart and a lone tear journeys down my cheek which I quickly wipe away. It's always the way. I start off having a good day but then something bad happens to ruin it plus Andrew is never far from my mind. I can only hope I don't have the same recurring nightmare tonight. _Are you watching over me Drew? I bet you laughed your ass off seeing me being knocked down today._ I should also call my mother and check on her, I know she worries when she doesn't hear from me in a few days.

Tomorrow I need to go buy a new bike thanks to that idiot otherwise I will have no choice but to take taxis everywhere, which is not ideal since I still have a few weeks before I start working. The way he basically threw that money at me infuriates me all over again. I can't believe he's Mia's brother, how can those two possibly be related. They were raised in the same house after all. Mia has previously told me that her parents took in and adopted her cousin when he was orphaned at five years old, she was only a baby at the time and sees him as nothing but her brother, from all the things she has said about him and the way she looks up to him, the person I came across today was certainly not what I had imagined.

I have met Grace Grey a handful of times and she would be appalled to hear about her son's behaviour. I giggle at the thought of dobbing on him the next time I see her.

I abandon my bike next to the large dumpster behind my apartment building, fish my keys out of my small backpack then head on inside. My plan for the rest of the day is nothing but a big bowl of chocolate ice cream and a Jane the Virgin marathon on Netflix.

 **Let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all your reviews and follows. I know some of you weren't a fan of Christian's behaviour but there is a reason why he wasn't exactly in the right frame of mind, he's not really that much of a jerk, we'll hear from him next chapter where you'll find out what's going on with him.**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Ana**

I'm spending my Wednesday morning behind the counter of a busy café downtown. The usual early morning rush is keeping me on my toes, everybody in a rush to get their caffeine fix and head to work or wherever they need to get to in a hurry. The rich aroma of the freshly brewed coffee beans in the air doing nothing to ease the craving for a second cup.

I shouldn't even be here, I should be in my warm and cosy bed sleeping in but my brother's best friend Luke called me late last night begging me to help him out this morning. One of his employee's was ill and he was left short staffed, I mean I wasn't doing anything today except sitting around my apartment and perhaps some laundry so I came to help him out. My job at the paper starts next week, the closer it gets the more nervous I become, what the hell do I know about working on a large newspaper? Nothing, zilch, nada. I'm afraid I'm going to screw up big time and be fired within a month.

"Another hour and the rush should die down then you can head off. Thanks again for helping me out." Luke quietly mentions beside me.

"It's no problem, I'm happy to help." He trained me for all of five minutes in how to take orders and use the till before throwing me in the deep end. So far I haven't managed to screw an order up.

I have known Luke since I was ten years old, he and Andrew were inseparable growing up. The Sawyer's were our neighbours back home in Montesano, Luke was between us in age, a year younger than me and a year older than Drew. They were together practically every single day. The pranks they would play on me still haunt me at times. One evening they thought it would be fun to leave a large plastic black spider in my bed. I screamed the house down and even to this day I never go to bed without checking for insects.

When Drew died it hit Luke just as hard as it did my family, to him it was like losing a brother too. We turned to each other for comfort when at our low moments we felt as if we had no one but each other, nobody else who could understand what we were dealing with, I'm not going to lie to myself, I know I've used him when I've needed him and vice versa but he understands the score, we both know this is never going to go any further, sure he's an attractive and nice guy but no way I could ever envisage us in a relationship together, we're just too different. One thing that bugs me is the fact he has taken it upon himself to take over the big brother role, checking up on me at least once a week, even though I was the older sibling and am capable of looking after myself and not getting myself killed.

Luke moved to Seattle and opened this café a year ago, he called it _Andy's_ in honour of Andrew and he's doing amazingly well with it, the coffee is pretty good too which keeps customers coming back, he should be so proud of what he's managed to achieve in such a short amount of time by following his dream. The day before he first opened he picked me up from college and drove me up to the city to see the store before anyone else. Seeing the large red letters out front reading Andy's Coffee Shop had my heart squeezing with tears falling down my face. I had no words except _"he would love it"_ I was so touched by that gesture and in the knowledge that his memory will continue to live on through this one small store even if all who entered it had no idea of its significance.

This was another draw for me to come here, besides Mia I also have Luke and I'm closer to my parents in Seattle than say New York or LA. Except I haven't gone back home since I left for round two of college, it's just too hard and painful, Drew's things and memories are all around. It's only my mother living in that house now, my parents were unable to cope with the loss, instead of leaning on each other it pulled them apart to the point my father moved out, even though they are still technically married, they barely make an effort to talk to each other which is another reason I hate going back there.

People are coming and going, I must have taken about thirty orders in the last 20 minutes alone. I look up to serve the next customer and come face to face with one asshole.

Fuck, Mia's brother, what's he doing here?

He's all sweaty in dark track pants and white sleeveless shirt obviously having been out running looking all sexy and wet, he pulls the ear buds out of his ears when he spots who's behind the counter.

"I can't escape you can I?" Wow, rude much?

I take a deep breath and count to five.

"What can I get for you?" I give him a fake sweet smile.

"Skim cappuccino, no sugar, extra shot."

I take his order and he taps his card in payment. He moves to the side, pulling out his phone from his pocket and starts scrolling his screen as he waits along with the rest of the crowd. I try to ignore him as I continue serving.

A few minutes later, another employee from behind me hands me his prepared cup of coffee and I call out his name to gain his attention before handing it over to him.

"Did you spit in this?" He questions taking it out of my hand.

 _I should have._

"Only one way to find out. Have a nice day sir." I reply sarcastically.

He grunts and I can't help myself, I yell out after him "You're welcome!"

I watch his ass as he walks away. Man those are some tight buns. I roll my eyes at myself, _really Ana?_

I roll my eyes and turn towards Luke who is standing next to me preparing orders on the coffee machine, he raises an eyebrow at me.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing, just a stuck up douchebag and Mia's older brother."

It seems like he wants to say something more but just chuckles and shakes his head at me going back to making coffees.

XXXXX

My neighbour across the hall from me in my apartment building is an elderly lady who offers me freshly baked cookies whenever she catches me coming or going. She lost her husband last winter and is only after some company, I know what that feels like so I'm happy to sit and chat with Laura whenever I have some free time. She's a sweetheart and has a beautiful beagle called Buddy which she takes for a walk every afternoon. I offered to take him for a walk on the weekends to help her out, I hate the gym and this way I get some exercise in as well. Friday afternoon I was returning home after grocery shopping when Laura caught me outside my door, she was feeling a little tired and asked if I could help her out by taking Buddy for his walk that afternoon. I agreed, dumped my shopping bags down, grabbed his leash and was off.

Before I realise it we've been walking for over half an hour and ended up in the city centre surrounded by tall buildings. My walking companion must have seen a cat, smelled something interesting or heard a noise because he suddenly takes off at speed chasing whatever it is that got him worked up, the leash rips out of my hold and I watch him run off into an alley behind the buildings. I tried to pull him back but he was too strong. I start to run after him calling out his name but he's way too fast for me.

Without warning a metal side door from one of the buildings opens up right in my face. I'm knocked back, falling to my ass, jarring my coccyx.

"OW! What the fuck?"

I'm howling in pain, my eyes watering, I hold my hand to my nose as I feel the blood spilling out in to my hand.

Sensing a presence over me I look up to see Christian fucking Grey, again.

"Are you fucking trying to kill me dickhead?" I mumble through my hands, my eyes spitting fire at him.

Hearing my shouts Buddy comes running back from around the corner, standing guard in front of me barking up at Christian who he considers a threat since I'm on the ground, his bark echoing around us from the surrounding buildings. I lift my free hand and pat him, calming and quietening him down, he sits on his hind legs but still lets out a little growl at him.

He looks down at me in shock and I think I hear him murmur _this has to be a joke_ , but I can't be 100% sure.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't expecting anyone to be behind the door." I was ready to accept the apology but then he has to ruin it by continuing to speak. "What the hell are you doing lurking in the alley anyway?"

"Chasing the dog obviously." I reply.

He looks over at Buddy who is now sniffing the air around us.

"Why the hell are you leaving from the back door of a building anyhow?"

He hesitates a moment before answering.

"Avoiding someone. Look let me take you to the ER, it might be broken."

It doesn't feel as if it's broken but it will definitely bruise.

"I think you've done enough, don't you."

He sticks his hand in his pants pocket pulling out and offering me a handkerchief for the bleeding which seems to have slowed somewhat. Who seriously carries handkerchiefs around with them these days?

I gladly accept it from him wrapping it around my nose.

"Thank you but I can get myself there." No way am I going anywhere with him.

"Don't be stubborn, just allow me to take you there." He snaps angrily.

What the hell is his problem, I'm the one on the cold, hard ground with a bloody face.

He reaches his hand down to me and I take it, standing up with his help. He actually has manners this time around. What I wasn't anticipating is the spark of electricity that runs up my arm when he held my hand for those brief two seconds. As soon as I'm on my feet I yank my hand away and take a step back, my butt killing from the small movement. Bet I have a nice bruise on that too.

Another gentleman in a black suit with a military buzz cut appears in the alley behind him through the same door he came out of.

"Sir?" He asks curiously after seeing me and the state I'm in.

I take this opportunity to make my getaway.

"NO, goodbye, oh and I'm keeping this." I wave the handkerchief before applying it back to my face.

I grab Buddy's leash with one hand while continuing to hold my nose with the other and begin my journey back home. God if I ever see him again it will be too soon.

I hear him call my name behind me but I ignore him.

I grab a cab and get back home to the apartment. I knock on Laura's door, as soon as she opens up she gasps at the state I'm in as Buddy trots on inside happily.

Laura freaks out thinking I've been mugged.

"Dear Lord, child, what on earth happened. Did someone attack you? You should call the police, were you robbed?" She gets out in the space of two breaths.

"I'm fine, just ran into a door." I reassure her.

She leads me onto her couch, to inspect my face closer. Her home always smells like cinnamon, I think it's from the candles she burns but I always leave hungry and craving donuts. She carefully and gently pushes on the skin around my nose until she's satisfied I'm perfectly fine at the same time cleaning up the dried blood left over with a small damp towel. A couple minutes later she lets me go home positive that I'm not going to keel over.

I unlock my door and step into my living room, the olive green painted walls which match the cushions on my couch greeting me, I walk through the apartment making my way into my bedroom to stand before the floor length built in mirror. My nose appears a little swollen but not too bad at the moment. I pull off my jeans and black underwear to inspect my backside. Yep, just as I thought a nice big purple bruise where my back meets the top of my butt. That's going to be a bitch to lean against.

Putting my underwear back on I carefully sit on the edge of my bed and grab my phone to text Mia and let her know I've had another run in with her brother.

 **Ana: Your brother almost killed me today.**

 **Mia: What?**

 **Ana: Threw a door open in my face.**

 **Mia: Are you being serious?**

 **Ana: Absolutely. I'm all bruised and bloodied.**

My phone starts ringing in my hand from Mia's call. I tell her exactly what happened at our encounter today and she starts laughing.

"Shit, the two of you are dangerous near each other." She says through her laughter.

I laugh at the absurdity of it all. I say goodbye to her and hang up after promising to meet up next weekend.

Later that afternoon I ended up taking myself by taxi to the medical centre just to be sure there's no great damage to my face and they assured me it's just swollen and bruised, no broken bones.

I hate hospitals, I avoid them at all costs if at all possible, the last time I was in one was three years ago when Andy died, I'm the only one who called him that, everybody else called him Andrew or Drew and he hated it, thought it made him sound childish, I remember sitting there for hours waiting for news, waiting for my parents to show up, not wanting to believe what had just happened, wanting to wake up and have it all be a dream. I just can't walk into one without all the bad memories and painful emotions coming back.

Finally returning back home I pull a bottle of white wine out of the fridge, take my place on the couch and start to flick through the television channels, today has already been shot to shit, I might as well get drunk.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Christian**

It's only eight in the morning and I already have a headache. Monday morning, another week, another problem to solve, another idea to ensure comes to fruition. My hands, particularly my knuckles, are still sore from the weekend as my fingers run over the keyboard, I spent more time than I should have attacking the punching bag in the gym over the past two days.

I've been in the office since six, and my eyes are stinging, there's a bug in the game somewhere, complaints about glitches have come in overnight from hundreds of users, so here I am reading hundreds of line of code trying to find it. I need a coffee desperately except my assistant Andrea isn't due in for another half an hour and she's the only one who knows how to use the new coffee machine in the staff kitchen. The stupid thing cost over a grand yet it's impossible to get it to make a simply cup of black coffee.

Growing up I wasn't good with people but I was great with computers. My mom had given me my first gaming console and video game for Christmas when I was ten years old, the graphics were shit but I was absorbed into the world that had been created, it was an escape from real life. I wanted to figure out how it worked, how to improve it. I borrowed and read any book I could find written on computers and gaming. It made sense to me, I was good at something not many people could understand.

I went to MIT to obtain my degree in programming, but I never stopped writing and creating my own game ideas even while studying, I sold the first game I ever designed to Sony at the age of 19 but it wasn't enough. I spent three years designing and working around the clock practically on an online fantasy game which is now played by millions of people worldwide. I'm always trying to improve it and give the players something new and exciting to keep them interested. It's made me very rich and successful.

Six years ago when I moved into the building my company takes up space in I dragged my older brother Elliot into the city to show him the space a few days before everybody started work here, I was so excited plus I wanted to show off a little bit too, he commented that everything looked grey both inside and outside so as a joke I put the name Grey House on the outside of the building and it kind of stuck. I have two hundred employees working for me, it takes a lot of people working around the clock to ensure everything runs smoothly at all times on top of finance and marketing. Grey Entertainment Holdings or GEH for short is my pride and joy and nothing comes between me and this company.

My office door squeaks open, I look up hopeful that it's Andrea with my coffee, instead it's my sister, I groan knowing this can't be good but at least she's holding a cup of coffee which she places on my desk for me. She already tore me a new one for the way I behaved towards her friend the other day. Not that I didn't deserve it.

"So, I got an interesting call from Ana on Friday. I heard you opened a door straight in her face. Who the hell were you trying to hide from anyhow that you used the back entrance to sneak out?" She takes a seat in the chair before my desk.

I love my sister dearly but when she wants to get information out of you she's like a dog with a bone and doesn't let up, making your life hell until you give her what she wants which is what also makes her great at her job, so I have learned over the years the easiest way to deal with her is to just answer the question and move on.

I pick up my cup and take a sip of the magic liquid prior to answering.

"Lilly."

"Oh!"

"Yeah, oh."

Lilly is Mia's ex-friend and my ex-girlfriend who I dated for close to a year until she decided it would be a good idea to give a magazine interview about our relationship behind my back three months ago accompanied by a half-naked photo of herself. I don't mind putting myself out there when it comes to the company but I like to keep my private life just that, private. She failed to mention it at all, she had to have known I would find out and that there would be a fall out. It was brought to my attention by my mother of all people who happened to buy that particular magazine regularly. I felt like a laughing stock and I could no longer trust her and broke things off, she can't take the hint it's over for good and I see her pop up every now and again trying talk to me, to convince me to give us a second chance. _Yeah, not happening._

"Did she tell you if her nose is okay, she wouldn't let me take her to the hospital."

"I don't blame her but she's fine. She could see the funny side of it."

I nod my head slightly, good to know there wasn't any damage caused.

"Look, I don't know what your problem was the other day because that wasn't you, and if you don't want to talk about it, fine, I'll respect that but Ana is my best friend, she's going to be around a lot so can you just please be nice. I was going to invite her to come out with us for your birthday next weekend."

Closing my eyes I groan and lean my head against the back of my chair.

"Do we have to?" I whinge like a child.

"Yes we do, you're turning 30 so don't bother arguing. I gotta get to work. I'll see later big brother."

With a kiss to my cheek Mia leaves my office.

What are the fucking odds I'd injure Ana twice. Somebody is probably having a laugh at my expense up in heaven, but how was I supposed to know anyone would be in the alleyway, it's generally deserted.

I should apologise for the way I ran her over and acted that day, I was such a prick, I should have helped her, made sure she wasn't hurt but I wasn't in the right frame of mind, I was so angry and unfortunately I took it out on her, a complete stranger, which she didn't deserve. In fact the events of that day have been weighing on my mind ever since.

That fateful morning my father had called me into his office at work, which was odd for a Saturday. He wanted to talk to me but wouldn't tell me what it was about until I get there, only that it was important and had to do with my biological parents. My biological mother Ella was his younger sister, while he was away at law school she ran away with her boyfriend because she fell pregnant with me. She refused to have an abortion and my grandparents disowned her. Let's just say that meeting with my father didn't go very well.

 _I'm seated in my dad's office where his desk is surrounded with files and papers and photos of the family over the years. I have no idea how he manages to find anything. He seems nervous and fidgety, constantly rolling a pen around and around in his hands._

 _"_ _Son, I received a package from a law firm in New York yesterday. It was for you. I struggled all night with whether I should even tell you about it, but the right thing to do is let you know and let you decide."_

 _"_ _Tell me what exactly?"_

 _Placing the pen down he pulls a large white envelope out of his desk drawer placing it in front of me._

 _"_ _Christian, this is from the lawyers acting for your biological father. When you were born there was a trust fund created for you, to be given to you when you reached the age of thirty. There is also a letter for you in there from him. I know this comes as a shock however there it is."_

 _I lean back in my chair, the wind knocked out of me._

 _I don't fucking want it. He made it pretty fucking clear he didn't want me._

 _"_ _Get rid of it." I announce through clenched teeth, how dare he._

 _"_ _I understand you're angry, hell I'm angry for the way he treated you and Ella, we can't change the past, but he obviously wanted you to have this money, perhaps it's his way of making sure you were looked after."_

 _He's joking right?_

 _"_ _Then he should have stuck around! This is total bullshit. I don't want his blood money, it's too little too late, my mother died because she got sick, she was so sick and couldn't afford the medication to help her recover, I had to watch her on our couch with hardly any energy to even get up, deteriorating more and more every day, I was a child, afraid and not being able to help her in any way, where was his fucking money then! I'm sorry but you know I hate talking about this stuff."_

 _"_ _Of course I understand and I agree with everything you said. Listen, son, I'm not going to force the issue, you're a wealthy man in your own right, but I had to do my job and inform you about it. There's no rush but eventually you need to make a decision about the money one way or another, give it to charity, keep it, it's your decision and only yours."_

 _I can't deal with this right now._

 _"_ _I need to go." I rush out, standing and running out of there as if I was being chased by the devil himself._

As I sat in my car afterwards that day the past crept up on me. How could my grandparents treat their own child so cruelly and then me, as if I was dirt because they didn't approve of my birth, _fucking stuck up assholes_ , how could my own father abandon me like I was nothing. Carrick has told me he tried to search for his sister but had no luck, his parents hid the fact she had run away from him for weeks, by the time he discovered the truth she had left the state, moved to the other side of the country in some hell hole with my biological sperm donor who abandoned us after six months I'm told. Ella left a diary behind but I've never been able to bring myself to read it, it's locked away in my safe at home. He only found me because the police got in contact with him after she died, she had listed her brother as next of kin on a piece of paper stapled to my birth certificate. Even then my so called biological father didn't bother to come forward. Well he can go to hell for I care, he's dead to me.

I owe Grace and Carrick everything, I am who I am today because of them. At first when I went to live with them I was a scared and shy little boy, surrounded by strangers, missing his mother, I would call them Uncle Carrick and Aunt Grace because that's who they told me they were but then Mia came along and started to talk, calling them mom and dad, so one day out of the blue I did too. It felt right, they were my parents in all the ways that counted and it made them happy to hear those names from me, I think that was the turning point where I accepted them as my family and they haven't let me down since.

The conversation with my father messed with my head, I needed to talk to someone, leaving his office building I drove with no destination in mind winding up at my parent's house, subconsciously seeking my mother out, I have always been able to talk to her about anything, she has always listened to me allowing me to get all my thoughts out enabling me to work through things. I think I needed her to tell me it was okay to be angry and ignore the letter. I walked into the house and called out for her but got no response, I noticed the caterers setting up in the backyard but still no sign of my mother so I had pulled my cell phone out and called her instead.

 _"_ _Hi sweetheart."_

 _"_ _Mom." My voice cracking._

 _"_ _Christian, are you okay, you don't sound like yourself."_

 _"_ _Yeah, no, it's fine, I'm just at the house but you're obviously out."_

 _"_ _Oh, sorry, I'm just picking up your grandfather's birthday cake."_

 _"_ _It's fine mom, I'll talk to you later"._

 _"_ _Oh darling before I forget, Mia's roommate from college Anastasia has moved to Seattle. She's such a lovely girl and so pretty, I think you would get along great with her, why don't you show her around, I don't think she knows the city very well and don't be late later today, you're bringing Mia with you right?"_

 _I just stared at the phone. Seriously? The last time she told me someone was a nice girl I ended up in court getting an AVO on her stalker ass hence, Jason Taylor, my bodyguard following me around now on most days._

 _"_ _Yes, mother." I confirm and hang up._

Even now over a week later, the bomb my dad dropped on me is still playing on my mind. Why now? He had twenty five years to write to me, but you know what, I don't actually care anymore, his letter can burn to ashes, I'm not remotely interested in what he has to tell me, the best thing to do is donate the money to charity, I don't want it tainting my bank account, perhaps to an organisation assisting teenage mothers, someone out there can get the help my own mother was never afforded.

I can still recall the blind rage I was experiencing as I was driving back to the office, hoping the distraction of work would help, the image of that envelope on my father's desk with my name written across it not leaving me. I suppose I never should have been driving in that state but I felt like I had to escape, I couldn't breathe, I was angry with the world. The truth is I didn't even see her riding along on the road, one minute the road is empty and the next moment I look up and see a girl on a bike in front of me. I'm still appalled at my attitude and behaviour, I'm not that guy.

Imagine my surprise to find Mia at lunch with the girl I knocked down earlier. I was horrible towards her, I can admit that now but she herself wasn't a picnic either, not that I could blame her considering. She may have been a bitch towards me but she's a beautiful bitch, with those deep blue eyes, full lips and wavy hair, when she looks at me however those eyes of her cool giving the appearance as if she wishes me dead.

There is something else about her eyes though that I can't place, as if they hold a secret or a deep sadness. I need to apologise to her. Mia is a pretty good judge of character, if she calls her a friend then she can't be all that bad.

 **Ana**

My bruised nose healed quickly enough, the pain subsiding two days later but the same can't be said for my butt. Thank goodness my face is mostly back to normal, I start my job at the paper on Monday next week and didn't want to have to explain why I appeared as if I had been in the boxing ring to a room full of journalists.

With these free few days I had I actually made a start on my book, it's about a little boy who can see the magical world of elves and fairies which is invisible to grown-ups and the adventures he has with them right there in his backyard. I managed to outline and get started on the first two chapters, I've even impressed myself feeling as if I'm accomplishing something and not wasting more time sitting around and only thinking about doing it.

Earlier today I went out with Luke to purchase a new bike but didn't quite find anything that appealed to me. Call me crazy but I want a yellow one with a basket in front. He called me fussy. Screw him, it's not my fault that after two hours of shopping and searching I wasn't happy with what I came across.

Shopping with Luke is exhausting, he likes to complain a lot, so I'm currently standing in my kitchen preparing a cup of coffee while deciding if I can be bothered making anything for dinner I hear a man scream in the hallway outside my apartment. I carefully open my front door sticking my head out and giggle at the scene before me.

On the stained carpeted ground with a bike fallen on top of him is Christian Grey with Buddy growling in his face.

My giggle turns into full blown laughter. I love this dog even more now.

 _Well this is interesting._

Laura is also standing at her door apologising and pulling Buddy back to her side and inside the apartment.

"I'm sorry, he's usually so gentle, I don't know what came over him. It's just bad timing you appearing just as I opened the door. He didn't bite you did he?"

"No, I don't think so." He assures her.

He sees me standing there laughing at his misfortune.

"Are you going to help me?" He asks trying to disentangle himself.

"Nope." I reply, going back inside and shutting the door with a large grin on my face.

 **So what do you think of Christian?**

 **For teasers and fun join me and other wonderful ladies on Facebook, look for the group For the Love of Fifty Shades, Fanfic and Jamie Dornan.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Ana**

Okay Ana you had your laugh, now go help the guy.

I open my door once more to see Christian has managed to stand up to his feet, reaching down to pick the bike up off the floor, meanwhile Buddy has started barking, the noise filling the enclosed space as Laura struggles to get him inside her apartment door by pulling on his collar. Walking over I pick the dog up in my arms and carry him in for her, I kneel to deposit him in the living room then giving him a scratch behind the ears.

"Don't you worry about that mean man Buddy, you're a great protector."

"Is he your friend?" Laura enquires with a gleam in her eye as I stand back up.

"God no, his sister was my roommate back in college."

"Oh, well he's very handsome, if only I was thirty years younger." She jokes.

"He wouldn't stand a chance." I agree and leave them to it.

Christian is standing out in the corridor looking unsure. If there is anything my mother drilled into me growing up it was to have manners and be a good host so I begrudgingly invite him in. We step into my apartment where he stands just inside the closed door, holding onto the handle bars of the bicycle, looking around my home as I make my way a little further in. Thankfully the place is clean and tidy.

"Cute bike, not sure if yellow is your colour though." I say.

"It's for you."

 _Well I kind of figured that out_. It's actually the bike I would have chosen for myself had I come across it, minus the basket but that can be easily fixed. It sucks that he's the one bringing it to me though.

"What are you doing here, come to injure me some more? How did you know where I live?"

He uses his foot to kick the stand down on the bike so it stays upright and takes a couple steps further into the room.

"No of course not and Mia told me, your nose appears to have healed pretty quickly."

"No thanks to you." I mumble under my breath.

"I asked Mia and she also told me you hadn't had a chance to go out and get a new bike yet so I thought I would bring one over for you, it's my way of apologising for my behaviour the other day, there is no excuse I can give for what happened and because I also really hate it when Mia is mad at me. I was just going to leave it by your door with a note but then that psycho dog came out and well you know the rest."

"I see."

An awkward silence falls between us. He shuffles back and forth on his feet. My usually spacious living room seems smaller all of a sudden with him standing in it.

"Would you like a drink?" I offer to break the silence and because I remember that I didn't finish making my cup of coffee.

"No, thank you, I should get going. I'm not sure if Mia has mentioned it to you yet, but she was going to invite you to join us for my birthday next weekend, I would like it if you came along, that is if you want to." He says while rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. He looks cute when he's uncomfortable.

"Thanks for the invite, I'll think about it."

Looking at him wearing dark jeans, a long sleeved light blue shirt and white sports shoes, he is the complete opposite to the man he first appeared to be, so he can be a decent human it appears when he wants to be. Thinking of that day brings to mind the money he gave to me for a new bike.

"Well thank you for the bike, that was kind of you, I should give you back your money in that case."

I walk over to my handbag that is sitting on my kitchen bench and pull the notes out.

"No, that's okay keep it." He begins saying.

"I can't. You've replaced the bike so please take your money." I walk towards him and hold my hand out offering the cash to him.

He sticks his hands in his pockets refusing it.

"Consider it compensation for having to deal with my behaviour that day."

"No, absolutely not." I state.

We go back and forth for the next couple of minutes arguing over the money and bike. There is no reasoning with him and he is being so difficult.

"I'm not a charity case." I finally say having had enough. The money was meant to replace my bike, now that he's done that I don't feel comfortable keeping it.

"I didn't say you were. Why don't you use the money to buy a new outfit or something." He points to my light coloured overalls with the ripped knees I'm currently wearing, which I happen to love because they're comfortable. I don't know if I should laugh or be insulted at his assumption that he thinks being a female we just spend all our money on clothes.

"Wow. Just insult my outfit why don't you." I cross my arms over my chest.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think anyone over the age of 12 wore those anymore."

"Tell me, does being an asshole come naturally to you or do you need to work at it."

I can tell he's frustrated by the way he rubs his face with his hands.

I glare at him with a raised brow, I'm not backing down here and raise my arm, holding the money out in my hand, I'm not budging and will stand here as long as I have to until he takes his money back, which only ends up being about thirty seconds as I was keeping count in my head.

"You are so stubborn, fine, I'll take it back, I was trying to do a nice thing." He huffs as he stuffs the money in his pants pocket.

"Don't try next time."

"You're impossible."

 _Me?_

"Thank you for the bike, it's time for you to leave." He just makes me so mad.

He gives me a final glare and storms out my door. Five minutes in his presence and I have a headache.

XXXXX

I felt so sick this morning, being both nervous and excited. It's my first day at work and I had trouble deciding what to wear, do I go for a suit or smart casual, I didn't want to appear out of place, in the end I went with simple black pants and a blush coloured blouse paired with my black heels. As I step off the bus and make the short walk across the road and through the glass doors of the building I force the butterflies away. This feels like an important moment, no more school, no more studying, no more relying on my parents, the start of my real adult life begins right now, it's kind of scary but I'm ready, after the last couple of years I know I'm stronger than I ever realised, I can handle this, it's only the start of my career after all.

I'm met by Cleo from human resources at reception who warmly welcomes me, she's a tall woman, making me feel even smaller than usual with amazing black and shiny shoulder length hair, she leads me into a small conference room where she goes through orientation with me for about an hour then shows me around, eventually we take the elevator up to the third floor of the building, stepping out on to the dark blue carpet we walk along the floor, it's busy, phones are ringing constantly, there are at least two dozen desks placed around the place and there's a buzz in the air while people are walking around everywhere, we're not even being given any attention as we pass by, everyone lost in their own tasks, we reach what is to be my little walled cubicle that has been set up for me, a bare desk with a computer, phone, a pad of paper and stationary on it. My new home from nine to five for five days a week.

"This is your work station. Good luck, enjoy your first day and if you need anything just call me, I'm on extension 102."

She leaves me be and I take a seat in the chair releasing a breath and turning my computer on. I look around me at my new colleagues and surroundings. I think I'm going to like working here. Before my computer screen has a chance to come to life I see a young blonde woman walking towards me, she's dressed in a red skirt with a white blouse, she gives an aura of confidence as she strides along and I stand back up.

"Hi, you must be Anastasia." She reaches out to shake my hand with a smile. "I'm Kate Kavanagh."

"Ana, please and Kavanagh?"

"Yes, my father is the owner but please don't hold that against me." She jokes. "I've emailed you an article that I need you to look over, it is to be printed in Wednesday's edition so that gives you a couple days to look it over along with whatever else you're given."

"Sure thing."

"Welcome, I hope you enjoy working here and feel free to call me if you need help with anything, I know how scary it can be coming into a large company like this and not knowing anybody, I'm more than happy to have lunch together if you want today, see how you're settling in."

"Thank you I will and that sounds great." I like her, she seems like she'll be fun to hang out with.

Left on my own once again I grab a cup of coffee from the staff kitchen which then settle in, logging on with the details I was provided earlier today during orientation. I open up the email from Kate, after reading the first line my mouth opens in surprise, what are the chances the first article I'm given to edit is an interview of one Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Entertainment Holdings. Is the universe playing a joke on me?

 _Christian Grey, Seattle's very own billionaire playboy has made a name for himself in the gaming world but not much is known about him otherwise._

 _Oh my God, he's a billionaire?_

Shit!

No wonder he feels entitled to act like a major jerk, everyone probably kisses his ass and he gets what he wants constantly.

I pick up my phone to text Mia but then hesitate, should I tell her about the article, but then again she works in his marketing department, she probably already knows about this.

 **A: Hey, I'm at work and you'll never guess what I've been given. An interview of your brother.**

 **M: Oh yeah, he was such a pain trying to get him to do that, he hates talking to people especially about himself but it's good for business.**

It goes on about the start of his career, how popular the game is, charity work the company is involved in, upcoming products fans can look out for and other things the company has branched out into such as clubs, restaurants and other entertainment ventures but the big thing being a virtual gaming experience being released this Christmas. Kate's article is pretty good at promoting the company, she ends it saying there is a rumour that the GEH umbrella is looking at a casino in Vegas but could get no confirmation of it either way.

As I finish reading the article I think to myself maybe he isn't so bad if he gives back to those who need it most, even if his personality sucks.

XXXX

Why am I even here tonight? Luke and I climb out of the cab in front of the nightclub called Zeus, it being a Saturday night it's busy with a line out the front. It's a warm night and I'm wearing a short, strappy black dress with large gold buttons on the front. With our names being on the guest list for Christian Grey's birthday we're let straight in and told to head to the back of the club where a VIP area has been roped off.

Sure I could use the night out and some fun, the truth is I haven't been out in a long time, especially not to a club. After Andrew's death I couldn't even listen to music for the longest time, not on the radio, not on TV, I needed it to be silent, it may sound morbid but I wanted silence, like the complete silence of the grave that my brother found himself in until one day my father sat me down and told me to stop punishing myself. We sat there together for half an hour with one of his CD's randomly playing in the background. We didn't speak but I cried, he cried and together we got over another hurdle caused by his loss.

Walking into the darkened space there are multi coloured lights and lasers flashing around us, it's loud, there are bodies everywhere, especially on the dance floor thanks to the DJ playing a deep bass filled tune.

I spot Mia at the bar and head over to her since she's the only person I know here besides Luke.

"Hi, Mia." I half yell and give her a hug, she looks smokin' in a black satin corset top and matching black shorts.

"Hey, glad you guys made it. Hi, Luke, good to see you again."

"Hi." He greets her with a kiss on the cheek. The two of them having hung out together on the few times Luke had driven down to visit me while I was still at school. I always wondered if Mia had a little crush on him when they first met, she used to blush something fierce when he showed up however as time went on neither of them ever seemed interested in dating the other.

She grabs her cocktail then leads us over to her brother and the other guests milling around the VIP area, it's full of who I assume to be friends of his, some standing, some seated on the leather black lounges, large silver balloons with the number 30 are situated along the back wall besides a large birthday cake in the shape of a dragon. Christian, dressed in black pants with a navy button up shirt with sleeves rolled up to elbows is standing with a man and woman, chatting amongst themselves, Mia leads us directly to them interrupting.

"Hey guys, this is Ana, my best friend and roommate from college and her friend Luke. This is Jose and Ros from work, Jose is a graphic designer and Ros is head of our HR department." She explains. Jose is a cute-ish Hispanic looking young guy, most likely about my age and Ros is a beautiful tall African woman.

We shake hands and exchange nice to meet yous.

I finally make eye contact with my nemesis.

"Christian, happy birthday."

"Thank you." He nods his head slightly as he talks.

I take a step towards him, place my hand on his bicep, which feels massive under my palm, he must spend a lot of time working out and reach up on my toes to kiss his cheek, it is his birthday after all. I'm hit with a woodsy, manly scent, shit, he smells good then take a step back with a tight smile. Luke lets us know he's heading to the bar to grab us some drinks so I turn back to Mia.

"So have you heard from Elliot at all lately?" I ask her.

"Yes, just the other day, he called my parents and told them that he's coming home for good in a month's time. He's had enough, wanting to settle down and have a family and all that jazz which I would never had expected from him. I bet there's a girl involved somewhere but regardless they are ecstatic."

Mia and Christian's eldest brother Elliot joined the navy right after high school and has been gone for fifteen years only visiting for short periods of time every now and then. I can't wait to finally meet him, I've heard so many stories about him, he sounds like he'd be a blast to have around.

An hour later and I admit I'm enjoying myself, I've met lots of new people thanks to Mia, I'm tipsy from the four delicious pink cocktails I've had as I sit there tapping my feet along to the music. Mia and Luke have gone off to dance leaving me with my cocktail, as I'm sipping my fifth drink I can feel eyes on me, looking around the space I notice Christian leaning against the wall, drink in his hand, looking at me. I make eye contact and he moves off the wall and strides across to me. He moves gracefully, like a panther stalking his prey, should I be afraid?

I swallow the mouthful of liquid held in my mouth as he sits next to me.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Yes. I'm really enjoying these cocktails." I raise my glass and take another sip.

"How's the bike?"

"It's great, thanks again."

"I feel like I should apologise to you again, for the way I left your apartment."

"It's becoming a habit of yours isn't it?"

He laughs and takes a sip of his own drink.

"Would you like to dance?"

I freeze.

"Oh no, I'm fine really."

"I'm not taking no for an answer, you can't just sit here and it's my birthday, so come on." He takes the drink out of my hand, placing it on the low table in front of us before pulling me up and along behind him to the middle of the dance floor.

It must be a combination of the alcohol flowing through my blood stream and the beat of the music because I find myself pressed up against his body with his hands on my hips and I don't actually mind the closeness, even though I couldn't stand him a week ago. Man can he move and if the bulge I can feel pressing against my stomach is any indication, he's packing a monster of a penis in his pants. Feeling bold I press myself closer swaying my body against his in time with the rhythm. I lift my arms, laying them over his shoulders then close my eyes allowing myself to get lost in the music momentarily. His scent engulfs me, having a direct line to my sex, turning my thong wet and uncomfortable. What is it about the cologne he's wearing that is having this effect on me? It's been a while since I've had sex and he looks like he would know what he's doing. _No Ana, stop, this is Mia's brother, you can't go there. No more drinks for you._

We may be surrounded by a hundred other bodies on the dance floor but all my attention at the moment is focused on his hands, those hot skinned hands whose palms slowly run up and down my arms, that action in itself a dance of seduction. I lift my head up looking into his hooded eyes however it's too dark to clearly see into them. Suddenly out of nowhere Mia appears, crashing into me and separating us, engulfing me in her arms in a tight hug, she's even more drunk than I am.

"Let's do shots." She shouts.

I'm hot, horny and thirsty. Why not?

I am so drunk, the room is starting to spin, why did I have that last shot? I'm going to be regretting it tomorrow. Luke warned me to take it easy, I just stuck my tongue out at him and tipped the drink back. _Should have listened to him_. I'm dancing with Jose at the moment, he seems nice but there's no heat when I dance with him. I've danced with Christian a couple more times and both times were just as hot as the first, I don't know what it is but being in close proximity to him, my body feels on fire, perhaps it's just the alcohol, yep, I'm going with the alcohol. I admit he's a good looking son of a bitch and seeing him acting like a normal guy having fun makes him appear more likeable, even Luke seems to have hit it off with him, the traitor, I saw them in a deep discussion for over twenty minutes.

My stomach is disagreeing with me and my throat is dry so I excuse myself from Jose and head over to the bar to grab a glass of water. I stumble along in my heels until I reach the end of the bar where they have ready waiting cups and jars of water for patrons. Pouring a glass I scull it down. That's when I notice Christian with his back to me at the bar a few feet away with a couple of people standing between us so I admire his back muscles for a moment as they flex until he steps to the side and I see the red haired female beside him. She barely looks to be twenty one and is wearing the shortest, tightest pink dress she could probably find.

"Hi." I hear her say to him.

"Hi."

"I'm Lexi."

"Nice to meet you Lexi."

"How about you buy me a drink." She reaches up and plays with the collar of his shirt. I roll my eyes at the display, could she be any more obvious.

"Well, far be it from me to deny a pretty lady."

Seriously?

Typical male.

I refill my glass of water and head off back to find Luke and Mia.

Ten minutes later as I'm seated on a bar stool chatting to Ros about her trip to London when I feel someone touch my back. I turn around to see Christian standing behind me.

"Remove your hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it." I calmly state.

He appears taken aback by my threat. I know I have no right to be mad at him, he can buy whoever he likes a drink and I certainly wasn't planning on going home with him tonight. _Not that he's asked you anyway Anastasia_. My inner bitch is coming out, I'm confusing myself and think it's time to call it a night.

"Excuse me." I tell them both and walk towards the hallway where the bathrooms are.

After relieving myself and splashing some water on my face I step outside the bathroom door to Christian coming out the men's room at the same time opposite me. He pulls me a little further down the hallway away from the doors looking concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I shrug.

"Did I do something, I thought you were starting to like me." He gives me a half smile which causes a dimple to appear on his right cheek. _So unfair that even his dimple is cute._

"Please, what's there to like, your ego?" I scoff. My brain to mouth filter has malfunctioned and before I can stop myself I say "What happened to Lexi?"

He has the nerve to smirk.

"You're jealous."

"Hardly."

He steps closer to me, making me take a step back against the wall.

"Oh, I don't know, you say that, but your body certainly likes me, it's giving you away." He takes another step closer, his hands resting against the wall either side of my head. "Your nipples are erect and trying to push through your tiny dress, your breathing has increased a notch and you have your thighs rubbing together." _Bastard is right_. "I bet you're wet." His head dips into my neck where I feel the slightest pressure of his lips on my throat, electricity coursing down my body. I try to keep my moan in, to not give him the satisfaction of knowing he's right when it happens, and it's a bucket of cold water on my libido and whatever was occurring in this hallway between us.

I panic and roughly shove him away from me.

"Move. Now!" I yell. "Go away!" I can't breathe, my eyes fill with tears I need to get out of here before I have a panic attack. I was so stupid, why did I think coming out was a good idea.

As soon as he has stepped away from me I start running. He calls my name behind me but I keep going. I run right out the club into the warm night and then straight into a taxi to take me home. Luckily I had my bag with me so I pull my phone out to send Luke a text telling him I've gone home so he doesn't worry.

I must have come across as a crazy person just then but I couldn't stay. Not with that song playing. The song that was playing on the radio right before the accident, the last song my brother was singing before he took his last breaths. I gaze unseeing out the taxi's window and let the tears fall.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Christian**

Wednesday morning I find myself seated in my conference room with my team surrounding the large glass table. In three months' time we have the gaming convention which is being held in San Francisco this year, which means the next few weeks are going to be insanely busy with preparations. Winter's Flame's new online patch will be going live that first day and the tickets are selling like crazy for those who want to be the first to be able to play it.

I still find it insane how many people come dressed as the avatar characters they created in the game, my game, my vision. Who would have thought one little game would have had such an effect and following.

"Where are we with having all the glitches rectified and the game ready to launch?"

"Everything is on track and running smoothly, I don't anticipate any issues to be raised in the next testing phase." One of my gaming testers confirms. I'm actually excited about this new phase of the game, up until now the dragon has been the enemy in the game, burning and razing land as it goes, however this new patch will allow players to actually play as a dragon avatar themselves, be the bad guy once a certain level is reached.

"Good, and the figurines?" Over the course of the last year there have been requests and demands coming in for character figures to be made available for fans of the game so we got in touch with a manufacturer to see how feasible it would be.

"They will be shipped over next month. We will have five thousand available to be sold at the convention and afterwards they will be able to be ordered online."

I'm pleased with the way things are falling into place. This year's convention will be our biggest one yet and I need it all to go perfect. Before me lays the Seattle Times paper open to the article printed in last week's issue which Mia brought in with her, I have to admit Kate Kavanagh did a fantastic job with promoting the game, company and our vision for the future, according to Mia it's had a positive impact, plus she let it slip that Ana had read through it before publication.

Thoughts of Anastasia and Saturday night have been playing on my mind for the past three days. Sure I've had my fair share of woman but Miss Steele has to be one of the sexiest, most beautiful women I have come across, there is something about her that calls to me. I noticed her when she first walked in and headed to the bar where Mia stood. I had to stop myself from walking over there and just stand back and observe until my sister brought her over to me.

Her legs in that little black dress she wore looked fucking incredible, the split as she walked teasing me and every other male in that club. As I held her while we danced her scent ensnared me, frangipani, that's what the smell of her body wash was, fucking frangipani and I've been smelling it everywhere I go ever since, driving me insane and getting my cock hard. Jesus Christ since when has a single scent affected me so much. The way her hips swayed and her hair bounced around her shoulders, a siren's call, I was caught under her spell and she probably had no idea she had bewitched me in so little time. I was seriously controlling myself from attacking her in the middle of the dance floor.

Her hint of jealousy was cute yet unexpected and it made me harder than I already was. Then it had me questioning how she even knew about me buying a drink for that chick.

I had her cornered against the wall, would I have kissed her, would she have let me, I'm still racking my brain, replaying those moments, to figure out what happened to make her run out of the club like the place was on fire. I was on her tail immediately with the intention of catching up to her and making her tell me what the hell just happened until Mia stopped me.

 _"_ _Christian." I feel a hand on my arm pulling me back. "What happened?" A worried Mia asks._

 _"_ _I don't know, she freaked out and left so suddenly. I was going to follow her…"_

 _"_ _Don't!"_

 _"_ _Why, she's upset." How can she just allow her friend to leave on her own in such a state?_

 _"_ _Christian, if she's upset right now, the last thing she will want is you chasing after her. Trust me on this, I know Ana, whatever it was that upset her, she needs to be alone right now."_

 _With a kiss to my cheek she walks away from me as I stand still in the middle of the moving crowd. I rub my face, I don't feel comfortable with the situation, she's a young woman out there on her own. I pull my phone out and message Taylor who is lurking in one of the corners keeping an eye on things tonight._

 _His response comes back almost immediately._

 ** _\- Don't worry, I'll make sure Miss Steele makes it home safely Sir._**

I'm pulled back to the here and now by people rising from their seats, the meeting over.

"Mia my office please."

She follows behind me, taking her time as she checks her phone or her facebook page or who the hell knows, half the time she's on that damn thing, as soon as the door closes I start my barrage of questions.

"Have you spoken to Ana, is she okay, did she tell you why she fled like that?"

"Whoa, slow down, as far as I know she's fine."

"What does that mean?" I drop down in my chair behind my desk.

"It means we've texted each other a few times, why are you so concerned with Ana?" She raises an eyebrow.

"I …..I just worry that it…she didn't look well before she left…something upset her greatly, Mia and if it was something I did I just want to know, so I can fix it, I didn't mean to…is that what happened." Why am I so tongue tied? I can't get that fearful look in her eyes out of my mind.

She considers me before a small smile stretches her lips.

"I'm sure it wasn't anything you did, Christian, Ana's tough, if it was you she would have spelt it out then and there and probably kneed you in the balls for good measure."

She has a point, Ana has been pretty upfront about her thoughts and feelings about me thus far.

"What is it with you two anyway? You seemed pretty cozy in that club."

"I don't know, she challenges and drives me nuts for no apparent reasons."

"I think it's because you want to sleep with her." She starts cackling.

"God, Mia, you can go now." I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. Now that image of Ana naked and underneath me has entered my brain.

She continues laughing on her way out.

"Oh, before I forget, there's a resort in Fiji that has come up for sale. Can you ask accounting to have a look at the numbers, I'll email you the details, tell me what you like it and if you think it will work." She gives me a thumbs up and waltzes out.

I need more coffee.

Before I'm even able to call Andrea to ask for another cup my cell phone rings with an odd international number, I always answer in case it's my brother, eight from ten times that turns out to be the case.

"Hello?"

"Guess who?"

"Hey, El, where are you?"

"Some small island in the pacific ocean, not long 'til I'm home for good baby brother." He sounds good, happy.

"Yeah, I heard, it's going to be great having you back home, you know we've missed you."

"Yeah, yeah don't get all sappy with me and happy birthday asshole, the big 30, you can no longer blame shit you do on being young and stupid."

"Just stupid like you then. How are you?"

"Good, man, tired, ready to get back to normal life."

"Well, it has been a while. You know Mom is going to smother you for the first few weeks."

"And I'm gonna let her. Can you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"When I'm home and settled, we're taking a trip to Vegas baby."

"Anytime, just say the word."

"I gotta go, laters."

"Laters, Elliot."

I hang up with a smile. We've all worried about him over the years, I missed just hanging out with my brother or being able to call him when I had a problem. We have a lot of years to catch up on but this is something he felt he had to do. We supported him but his presence was missed.

Finished up for the day I'm leaving Grey House with Taylor when I hear my name being called. I stop and wait for Luke to reach me. I'm about to say hi when I realise he doesn't look happy. When he showed up at the club with Ana I recognised him from the coffee shop, I wondered what the story was with them, that was until Mia introduced him as her friend.

Has something happened with Ana? Is that why he's here?

He comes to a stop two feet away from me.

"What you did you to Ana?"

"Excuse me?" I'm surprised by his question.

"I saw her run out of that club upset and two seconds later you were behind her. She's not calling me back which is not like her at all, you were the last person she was with so naturally I assume you're the cause."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you but nothing happened, I'm just as much in the dark. We were talking and the next second she went pale, pushed me away and sprinted out of there."

He seems to deflate a little at my answer.

"Fair enough but I know your type, I'm warning you now I won't let you hurt her, she's been through enough. If I have to physically keep you away from her I will."

What does that mean and how dare he insinuate that I'm going to hurt her. After one conversation that we've had he knows jack shit about me.

"She may be your friend and I can understand you wanting to protect her, but threaten me again and you will regret it."

I walk away from him, getting in the car I slam the door behind me. I'm mad now, who the hell does that guy think he is. As Taylor pulls out into traffic I pull out my phone and do something I hope won't bite me in the ass.

 **Ana**

This week has been busy and the days have flown by. I'm enjoying work more than I considered I would, I mean I assumed constantly reading and editing would be mind-numbing but I've come across interesting articles and learnt more about sports than I even wanted to know. I had lunch with Kate on Tuesday, she took me to a tiny little hidden sandwich shop around the corner from the building where I had the most amazing chicken wrap. She's so easy to get along with and I look forward to our daily chats, she always has a story to tell.

The other good thing about being busy is not having the time to think about Saturday night. Luke and Mia have both sent me messages however I've been kind of avoiding them both. I feel ridiculous over rushing out like that, they both know me well enough to know I'll call them when I'm ready to talk. I did need to hear my mother's voice however in the hopes it made me feel better so I called her on Wednesday afternoon, instead of giving me comfort she sounded off, now here I sit worried about her. I should visit, I really should go home even if it's for a day, it can't be easy for her having a large empty house with no one around to keep her company, and now the daughter's guilt sets in.

With the decision made I get up extra early on Saturday morning, call a taxi to drop me off at the bus depot and board the 7:20 bus for the three and a half hour trip from Seattle to Montesano. All I have with me is my small backpack, I still have clothes back home so I don't need to carry much with me. With a large cup of coffee I settle in my window seat and get comfortable. I would read to pass the time but reading on the bus or even in a car makes me feel sick and nauseous. Instead I plug my headphones in to listen to an audiobook, this particular one is about a sexy priest, and it's a damn hot story.

Arriving in the town I quickly change buses to catch the one that stops just down the road from my parent's house. It's a quiet street lined with large trees on either side, I've always loved the way their branches full of leaves grow and stretch over across the road, creating a natural arc of greenery that seems to protect you from the sky above.

I check for mail then pull my keys out and use them to open the large wooden front door. It's strange, it's home and yet it feels different, not like the happy home it was once, the light and laughter is missing from it. As soon as I step inside I'm greeted by a large framed photo of Andrew hanging on the wall which was taken after he won his last tennis competition. The blue court is in the background while he holds up his trophy with a massive grin. He absolutely loved playing. Walking further into the foyer, past the couches in the living room I find my mother sitting at the round kitchen table with a cup of tea in her hands, her gaze trained out the window into our backyard.

The place is too quiet. Seeing her like this cuts to the core. She was always so full of life, the glue that held our family together. Life's cruelness has taken her away too, she's not the Carla she used to be and I miss her.

"Hi, Mom." I say softly to not startle her.

She turns and smiles at me as she stands.

"Ana, how did you get here?" I welcome her hug and the familiar smell of my mother, making me feel safe in her arms like when I was nothing but a little girl.

"I took the bus." She pulls back with disapproval on her face.

"Anastasia, why didn't you call, I would have picked you up."

"Mom don't, please, it's fine and I'm here now."

She takes hold of my face in her hands, taking a good look at me.

"Yes, you are." She whispers, her voice catching slightly.

I move across to the counter and make myself a cup of coffee then join her at the table.

"How have you been?" I ask.

"Oh, you know, just fine, trying to keep busy, I joined a book club with a bunch of other ladies at the library, some of them are crazy but they're fun."

"Sounds great. Have you seen dad lately?"

"He was here last week to cut the grass for me."

That's all she says, nothing about how he is or if they spoke. I know it's his way of checking up on her by coming round and doing jobs around the house, I just wish they would fight for each other, I hate to see them both suffering more than they have to, they need each other, I need them to get their act together, I need to have some sort of family that's not totally fractured.

"Mom, you can tell me it's none of my business but talk to him, please, ask him to come home, it's where he belongs, you're both suffering more than necessary for no good reason. I know you still love each other."

She looks down at her hand where her wedding ring sits.

"Sometimes love isn't the problem."

"Do you think Drew would have been happy to see you both like this? Being torn apart?" It's a low blow but true nonetheless.

"Stop Ana! We're not having this conversation again."

I don't want to fight with her, I think I'll talk to my dad about forcing her to go to counselling together, that might help them work through whatever they're refusing to acknowledge.

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"You're looking good, the city seems to be agreeing with you. Your hair's getting long, you need a haircut." She quickly changes the subject.

"I like it long." I reply. It's taken forever to reach this length where it sits just below my breasts, no way am I cutting it.

"How's the job at the paper?"

"It's been great so far, I made a new friend, her name is Kate she's a journalist at the paper however I think I'm going to try applying at some publishing houses again at the end of the year and see how it goes. Perhaps I'll get lucky the second time around."

"Well they'd be nuts to not want you darling." Such a mom thing to say it makes me smile.

We sit in the silence for the next minute sipping our drinks. The stillness and heaviness surrounds us until I begin to feel a pressure on my chest, this is why I avoid coming home, this sensation of not being able to breathe freely.

"Let's go out for lunch." I suggest and my mother thankfully agrees.

I leave her washing our mugs at the sink and make my way up the stairs to my old bedroom to drop off my bag and freshen up. I pass Andrew's bedroom door along the way. His was the first door along the hallway. I stop before it. It's closed. I imagine him inside playing video games like he did so many times before. You could hear him yelling when he was losing. He was always such a sore loser.

The very last time I was in his room was the day of his funeral, I needed to feel close to him that day, ever since though I've been unable to step foot inside. The image of all his friends, those young men carrying his coffin out of the church is one I can never escape. It's one I should have never ever had to witness, those boys looking devastated as they help their friend for the final time make his journey out the church. Their faces still haunt me in my dreams.

Scrubbing my eyes to stop the tears before they build and fall I quickly step into my room, change out of my sweat pants into a pair of jeans and go back down to meet my mother, the time outside this house together will do us both good.

 **A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Next up Ana is going to get mad, drunk and pay Mr Grey a visit. What could possibly happen?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **Ana**

Mid-morning on Sunday I find myself out shopping with my mother. She insisted on spoiling me with some new clothes and it was easier to go along with her wishes than argue. I had called my father earlier in the day telling him I was home and asking if he wanted to grab breakfast together, he was happy to hear from me although insisted I spend the time with my mother, confirming what I already knew that she needs the company more than he does.

Yesterday after going out for lunch we returned back to house where we ordered Thai for dinner then got comfortable on the couch and watched Beaches, it's one of my mother's favourite movies and always gets us both crying. Afterwards she pulled out the photo albums taking a trip down memory lane, I sat there pouring over baby photos of both Andrew and I, listening to the stories of our births. I could never tire of hearing what those first few moments of my life were like and how much I was already loved. I went to bed thinking about life and death, the fear of the unknown, of what awaits us on the other side, we all want to live on somehow. As I lay in my childhood bed a saying I once heard pops into my head, I can't recall where I heard it, it might have been from a movie or a book I once read but it's said that we all have three deaths, the first when we take our last breath, the second the last time someone thinks about us and the third when someone says our name for the last time. I don't want that happening to my brother, not if I can help it. If I'm lucky enough to ever have children of my own someday my heart is telling me the right thing to do would be to name it after its uncle, to ensure he lives on in some way, that he isn't so easily forgotten.

As we come out of the store I stop, there's a man seated on a bench across the road reading a newspaper. He's dressed casually in jeans and green shirt with longish light brown hair. I could have sworn I saw him yesterday in the same restaurant we were having lunch in, it could just be a coincidence, perhaps he waiting as his girlfriend or wife shops, it's not exactly a large city. We move to another store three doors up, I feel his eyes on me, I turn my head back and see him watching, at least I think he is, he's wearing sunglasses so I can't be certain he's looking directly at me but it feels that way. I quickly step inside the store to escape the creepy vibes I'm getting.

Half an hour later we walk out of the store laden with bags, my mother certainly shops til she drops, my eyes flick across to the bench however the man has moved on so I let my paranoia go, but then two minutes later walking back to my mother's parked car I see him once again sitting in his own car, a black SUV two rows away. This is ridiculous. I give my bags to my mother telling her I'll be right back.

I walk up to his car and knock on his window, he's looking down at his phone in his hand. He looks up at me surprised and opens his window.

"Who are you and why are you following me?"

"I'm sorry Miss I have no idea what you're talking about." Up close I can tell he's no older than twenty five if that, his green eyes looking at me warily. Yeah, you're so busted buddy.

"Don't give me that crap, I saw you yesterday at the place I was having lunch with my mother and again today watching me from across the street. What are you doing, or would you rather I call the cops and you can explain it to them."

He opens his door and gets out, I step back giving him room, he's tall but I don't feel threatened in any way by him. He seems to be struggling with what he's going to say next.

"Look, I'm just doing my job, I don't mean any harm."

"And your job is to follow me around?" I stare at him in complete shock. _What the fuck?_

He doesn't answer just shrugs which is all the confirmation I need.

"Why?" I demand loudly.

"I don't have that information, I'm sorry."

"What's your name?"

He clears his throat before replying.

"Reynolds."

I cross my arms over my chest.

"Well, Reynolds, who hired you to follow me around?" As I ask that question I'm afraid I may already know the answer.

"Christian Grey."

"What?" I screech. _Are you kidding me? I'm going to kill him_. "You!" I point at him, "Go home, and you can tell Christian Grey that he can kiss my ass."

I stomp away back towards my mother who is waiting in the car.

"Everything okay?" She asks as I climb in.

"No but it will be." I don't know what I'm going to do but he'll feel my wrath one way or the other.

I am so mad, my ears are burning, my hands are shaking from my rage.

I tried to not let that incident affect the rest of the time I had left until my mother dropped me off at the bus station in the afternoon to catch the bus home to Seattle, I should get to my apartment around seven. My mother saw me off with a tight hug and a promise to come up to Seattle soon to visit. As I begin making my long journey back I pull out my phone knowing there are a couple of people I need to call back.

I call Luke first.

"Ana finally." He answers after it only rings once.

"Hey, Luke."

"Where the hell have you been? Are you okay, it's been a week."

"I know and I'm fine, I just needed some time, I actually went home for the weekend." That catches him off guard as he stays quiet for a moment.

"Why didn't you tell me, I would have come with you."

"I know you would have but I needed to do this on my own."

"I understand. Are you alright?" I hear the concern in his voice. He knows how tough I find it going there.

"I'm okay, promise. It wasn't easy but I got to spend time with my mom, I actually needed it more than I let myself believe."

"Okay then. Umm…listen…did something happen last Saturday night, because I may have threatened Mia's brother to stay away from you, I saw you run out of the club almost in tears and he was right behind you."

I close my eyes. The way I'm feeling I want to murder him. At first I wondered what I would say the next time I saw him, well I don't have to worry about that anymore.

"He didn't do anything, Luke, honestly, it's just…you know…one of my moments. Listen I'm on my way home right know, I'll come by the café in the morning for some of your coffee and you can see for yourself I'm perfectly fine."

He's appeased with that letting me go. I hang up then text Mia next.

 **Ana: Hey, can you come over about 7:30, you may need to stop me killing your brother.**

 **Mia: Be there with food and wine.**

This is why I love her. No questions and she supplies the alcohol.

XXXXX

"So what did he do this time?" With those words Mia enters my apartment setting down our Chinese food on my coffee table and sets to opening the bottle of chilled white wine in her hands. She must have come straight from work as she's still in her grey, knee length, belted dress and heels which she toes off.

"He had some guy following me around over the weekend, at least I think it was only the weekend." I let her know as I pull two wine glasses out of the cupboard.

"Are you shitting me, why would he do that?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." I walk back over holding the glasses out towards her waiting as she fills them right to the top.

An hour later the food is gone but there's still lots of wine. _This is nice wine._ The more I think about what Christian had the nerve to do the anger and disbelief returns full force, like something out of a spy movie, ooh now I'm picturing him as James Bond, a sexy James Bond, no, stop Ana, he's an schmuck. Shmuck, now that's a funny word.

Mia has only taken a couple sips meanwhile I think I've had half the bottle. My head is now spinning knowing I'm definitely buzzed, when an idea pops into my head.

I get up and put my sandals on my feet.

"Where does your brother live?"

"Why?" She asks slowly.

"Because I'm going to pay him a little visit." I announce with a grin and giggle.

I wait for her to answer me, I know she's going to try talk me out of this little adventure but I'm so full of pent up anger I need to unleash it, specifically on the man who's had me all worked up for the past eight hours.

"You know what, this might actually be fun, give him hell. He lives in the large building called Escala on 4Th Avenue, come on I'll drop you off. Just don't kill him, I don't feel like helping you bury a body tonight."

 **Christian**

I'm spread out on my couch pouring over some more paper work for the resort in Fiji, GEH has the hotel in New York and we're looking at one in Vegas however I also want to expand that arm of the company to an international destination and this came up at the right time. Unexpectedly the lobby phone rings with a call from downstairs. Moving across to the wall in the kitchen I answer.

"Grey."

"Mr Grey, sorry to disturb you however there is a young woman here asking for you and well…she appears to have been drinking sir, she says her name is Ana."

I exhale having been expecting something like this.

"Let her up."

Reynolds let me know earlier today she caught and confronted him. He admitted he was actually a little afraid of her and was hesitant to pass on her message. _Kiss your ass huh Miss Steele? We'll see about that._ I only have myself to blame, the idiot should have blended in better.

I stand at the elevator waiting for the doors to open, she finally appears, stumbling out wearing grey shorts and a purple singlet with a little black bag hanging across her chest. _Fuck those legs of hers should come with a warning._ She stops and frowns when she sees me.

"Anastasia." I greet.

"Well, well, if it isn't, Christian Grey, the guy who for some reason keeps popping up in my life, oh no, hang on, I'm wrong, this time it was your minions." She giggles once she says that, repeating the word minions. I don't get an opportunity to reply because she continues her little tirade. "Who the hell do you think you are, what gave you the right to have someone spy on me?" She steps closer, her delicate finger jabbing straight into my chest.

"I was worried about you." It's the truth.

"Well it's rude and I'm not your problem, so please don't worry about me." She points to herself while lifting her pretty little nose into the air.

"Well perhaps if you didn't run out on your own in the middle of the night I wouldn't have to."

"Maybe I was running away from you." She sticks her tongue out at me. I know that's a lie or at least I hope it is, she didn't give any indication that she was afraid of me or the situation in that club, her body was telling me a different story but then again she ran out so quickly she gave me whiplash. "Anyway I'm super mad, like really, really angry at you. More than furious, what's the word for more than furious?"

"Yeah, I got it, you're enraged. I would apologise but I'm not actually sorry."

"Ugh!" She closes her eyes and seems to sway on her feet.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Not enough because you still look cute." Her hand flies up to her mouth, her eyes wide in horror. I guess that wasn't meant to be said out loud.

"You think I'm cute?" I grin and wink trying to supress my laughter.

"God no! Tell me what would have happened if I didn't spot him. Would he have continued to follow me around forever?"

I don't have an answer for that because I really hadn't thought that far ahead, I was only thinking about this weekend, ensuring she was okay.

"Hang on. How did he know where I was?" She tilts her head to the side eyeing my suspiciously.

Well this is going to sound bad.

"I tracked your phone."

She frowns, two lines appearing between her brows.

"Riiight. You are just the worst, do you know that, Christian Grey needs to know everything, even if it's none of his business. He thinks because he's rich he can track people down and have them followed and when he says jump you say how high, you probably drive around that fancy sports car to make yourself feel better because you have a small dick."

Having heard enough of her tirade I push her against the wall, my hands on her hips, gripping tightly and cover her mouth with my own to shut her up. It's an angry kiss, there is nothing gentle about the way our lips are fighting for dominance I can taste the crisp wine she had earlier. I take a step towards her, my chest pressing against the softness of her breasts, my leg settling between her own, I'll show her how not small my dick is. Her hands are holding onto my biceps then she makes a move, sliding them up towards my shoulders.

All of a sudden I feel her teeth nip on my lower lip sharply.

She fucking bit me.

I pull back and look into her blue eyes which have darkened. I affect her. I get a thrill out of that knowledge.

"You bit me?"

I run my tongue along the little sting, her eyes follow the movement, her breathing is laboured, I don't give her a chance to answer I capture her lips again, this time around my tongue enters her warm mouth, she's making these small moaning noises that strike straight to my groin, I push my growing erection against her allowing her to feel what she's doing to me. She moves her hands to the small of my lower back pulling me closer and into her.

I'm so caught up in the spell her mouth has created around us that I don't hear the elevator doors opening or footsteps coming closer until my mother speaks.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

We pull apart, Ana blushing red from embarrassment. She pushes against my chest and moves away from me and up to my mother as I discretely adjust myself. _Holy fuck, that was some kiss._

"Ana?" She asks, not quite believing her eyes.

"Hi, Grace it's lovely to see you again."

"You too dear." She eyes me over Ana's shoulder confusedly.

They hug, like old friends meanwhile I'm standing there gobsmacked. Both from that kiss and the easy familiarity they have with each other.

"I must be going, we should catch up soon." She tells my mother before walking towards the lift and calling it. The doors open immediately, she gets in, turns around and with an unreadable expression says my name in warning as they close.

My mother stands there in her green scrubs waiting for an explanation, she must have come here straight after work.

"Taylor!" I call out. I have no idea how Ana got here or how she is getting home, I need someone to ensure she's not driving, and I don't care how mad she gets at me.

"On it." He appears out of his security office and takes the service elevator down only a minute behind her. The man knows what I need without having to tell him and worth every penny I pay him. I'm sure he saw it all play out on the cameras anyhow.

I finally face my mother.

"Christian, please tell me you haven't." She points towards the elevator where Ana disappeared.

"Haven't what?" I play dumb.

"She's Mia's best friend, you can't fool around with her like any other female."

"Okay, first of all I haven't done anything and second of all she's the one who showed up here. There is nothing you need to be concerned about." _Well not yet anyway._

I lead her into the kitchen pulling out bottles of water from the fridge for the both of us.

"All I'm saying is that Anastasia is special because if you hurt her, there will be a lot of people wanting to hurt you back." Wow, thanks for your belief in me mother.

"What are you doing here?" I ask after taking a large gulp of water.

"Your father asked me to come by and talk with you." She goes on about the stupid letter and the money and the fact that I hadn't called him back.

"Look Mom, I know I need to make a decision but now's not a good time, I need to make sure Ana gets home. I don't feel comfortable letting her walk out there on her own."

"I understand sweetheart, I worry about you, that's all." She gently taps me on the cheek.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me, how about we have lunch together next week, just let me know when you're free, we can talk then."

"Sounds like a plan."

Once I see my mother into the elevator I dial Taylor who tells me Ana's walking along 4Th Avenue and only two blocks away, I grab my keys and head down to the parking garage. I get into the Audi, drive out and along the street to find her stomping along the footpath. I slow down beeping the horn at her, she jumps in fright, turns her head and glares at me.

"Get in."

"Nope, I don't get in cars with strangers."

She misses a step and almost falls on her face. She's going to be the death of me.

"Well since you had your tongue down my throat you can't exactly call me a stranger anymore." I yell out through the window.

She ignores me and my grip on the steering wheel tightens in frustration.

"Get in Anastasia." I say firmly. "Are you going to walk the whole way back because I'm just going to continue following you?"

"Have fun." She smart mouths.

"I'll start singing too." I threaten but still get no reaction. _Fine you asked for it._

 _"_ _Pretty woman, walking down the street, pretty woman…"_

"Oh my God, shut up. Fine!" She huffs then gets in the car slamming the door.

"Don't break my car."

I speed off towards her apartment, the tyres screeching against the road. The drive to her place is silent, neither one of us talking even the radio is off as she stews in her anger.

As soon as I've parked the car in front of her apartment building she jumps out, once again slamming the door shut and stumbles slightly. I climb out following her footsteps shaking my head at her.

"Thank you for the ride Christian, and making sure I didn't get mugged or worse Christian." I mock behind her in a high pitched voice.

"You're so annoying." She retorts continuing to walk away from me.

"And you're acting like a brat."

"Whatever nobody asked you."

"I'm sorry for caring enough to make sure you made it home in one piece in your condition."

"No one asked you to care, go away, find somebody else to bother with your heroics you jerk."

"So you're a mean drunk." I observe.

"I'm not drunk I'm in my happy place and I'm not mean, you're mean."

"How mature."

She says nothing as she continues inside the building and to her front door. She reaches into her little bag, fiddling around looking for her keys I assume. I lean against the wall, waiting for the whole minute it takes her to grab her keys, drop them, pick them up and then finally open the door. Her apartment is dark inside, only a single lamp on at the far side of the room. She enters attempting to close the door in my face however I quickly push inside closing it behind me.

"Happy now my knight in shining armour? I made it home safely." She turns on me with her arms crossed. Sarcasm really doesn't suit her. "You can go now."

"Why are you so angry?" So I had someone follow her, I admit maybe I shouldn't have done that but I'm getting fed up with her attitude.

"Really, you invaded my privacy, had me tracked like some criminal, you ran me over, bruised my face, insulted my clothes, made me look like an idiot, everything is just your fault, that's why I'm so angry."

As she speaks she's pushing my chest, forcing me to take a step back with each push and accusation until the back of my legs hit the couch. I fall back on it, pulling her down with me, my arms wrapping around her small frame. I look up into her shadowed face. Her eyes trained on my mouth.

"Now that you have me here what are you going to do with me?" I joke.

She places her hands on my chest, pushing against me, rising slightly in order to get up and away from me.

"You're such an ass."

"And you're a pain in the ass. Tell me why you ran out on Saturday."

I notice the change in her eyes as she closes herself off and then the determined look she gets.

"No."

Before I know what's happening she straddles my hips, her fingers fisting my hair as she kisses me. It's not like the kiss we shared at my place, this one has a sense of urgency and desperation behind it. She's squirming against me, my cock growing bigger and harder underneath her movements. Her tongue caressing mine, her hands roaming across my chest.

I flip us over, stopping the kiss and stare at her, we're both breathing hard, her eyes lust filled and dilated. My lips find her throat, taking in her now familiar scent of frangipanis. He neck arches back giving me more room to explore.

"Is this what you want?" I grind myself into her.

"Yes." She pants.

She fucking drives me crazy. My lips join to hers once more. There's a fire burning brightly between us, hate, anger, attraction, whatever it is it's growing stronger with each passing second.

She unbuttons then unzips my pants, pushing them down my legs, I stand up to quickly remove them completely along with my shoes and shirt, she toes her own shoes off and them I'm back on top of her, kissing her, rushing to undress her, I have her top and bra off in a matter of seconds baring her perfect breasts, if you asked me later what colour her bra was I couldn't tell you because all I saw was her, the tight perfectly pink nipples calling to me. I grab one in each hand, feeling their weight while my thumb runs across her nipples, I feel her body shiver in response. I place a quick kiss on the tip of each nipple then journey lower to her bottom half pulling her shorts down her legs taking her tiny black lace panties with them. I open her body up to my view, her bare sex staring back, her smell of arousal intoxicating making my mouth water for a taste of her.

My fingers run along her slit feeling her slick pussy. I use my index finger to rub circles around her clit causing her to lift her hips, looking for more friction.

Jesus she's drenched.

"You're so wet, is that for me."

"Yes, yours." She moans.

I play with her, working her up until she's begging for more, removing my fingers I stick them in my mouth sucking her juices off them. She tastes both sweet and tart.

She grabs my shoulders to get me closer to her, her hand reaching down for my hard dick. She takes hold and caresses me up and down and up and down and fuck it's amazing the way she works me over and it's only her hand, I can only imagine what that mouth and those lips will feel like wrapped around me. _Next time Grey._

"Tell me how small my dick is now." I grit out.

"It's fucking huge. I need it in me."

"Are you sure about this, Ana? We can stop." I don't want her regretting this come morning and thinking I took advantage of her.

"Don't stop. Fuck me." She looks me straight in the eyes, blue to gray. "I want this."

Relived she's sure about this I kiss her deeply. Luckily I always carry a condom in my wallet. I reach down pulling it out, ripping the packet open I roll it on my dick as quickly as I can manage.

"Hurry." She demands.

 _Impatient little thing._

She's incredible to look at, all naked in her glory before me, her skin flushed and eager for me to fill her. I can't pinpoint what it is about her but she has gotten under my skin in such a short amount of time and my own body is clamouring to feel hers beneath it, around it. I have this need to claim her, make her mine.

I cover her naked body with mine, taking my dick in my hand I rub it up and down her centre, lubricating it with her own juices, rubbing myself against her clit, driving her wild with wanting and then once she says "stop teasing" I enter her tight, hot body, lowering myself completely over her, not an inch of space between us, her long, smooth legs that I have been dreaming about wrap around my hips, she locks her ankles trapping me between them. I take a nipple in my mouth, biting it then licking the sting away making her moan loudly. The sounds she's making music to my ears. After giving myself a moment to not cum straight away like a teenage boy I begin to move, her walls trying to hold onto me greedily.

"I still hate you." She tells me then grabs my head pulling me down into a rough kiss, her nails running down my back, scratching it as she goes.

"Don't care." I reply as I move in and out of her, lifting her legs higher around my waist allowing myself to get in deeper.

From this position I take her in, looking down to where we are joined, I see myself going in and out of her body, my dick coated in her. I take advantage of her mouth kissing her freely, bruising her lips, wanting her to feel where I had been for hours after as I ram into her over and over again. I could become addicted to her kisses.

I withdraw and sit back on my knees taking her in. She's so fucking beautiful like this. I could watch her laying around naked for days. She is perfection.

"What are you doing?" She growls.

"On your knees."

She complies immediately, moving on to all fours on the couch, baring herself to me, waiting for me to claim her in this position. I swiftly enter her and spank her ass, my palm stinging from the contact.

"Again." She says after hissing from the unexpected pain so I spank her again as requested on the opposite cheek.

I pull her hips towards me roughly and watch her back arch, I lean forward kissing her neck and her back, her scent is fucking intoxicating, her legs shudder in bliss while I pound into her repeatedly.

I feel her walls starting to tighten signalling she's getting close to her release so I slow down, prolonging the experience for us both, she whines telling me not to stop in a breathless voice, I move backwards taking her with me, not losing our connection as I sit on the couch with her on top of me, reverse cowgirl style then continue to thrust hard and fast, sweat dripping off me, my fingers clenching on the skin of her hips, I'm certain there will be bruises forming tomorrow to evidence I had been here. It doesn't take long for me to sense her reaching that point of no return once more, this time I continue with my frantic movements as she begs to come using the words yes and more repeatedly, allowing her to fall over the edge and fly, her orgasm so powerful it triggers my own, my balls tighten then I'm joining her as spurts of cum fill the condom.

I have my arms tight around her waist, my forehead against her shoulder blade as I feel her entire body trembling through her orgasm, her inner muscles squeezing me like a pleasurable vice. She whispers my name as her climax finally comes to an end.

A few moments later she blows out a breath before lifting herself off me, my dick leaving her warm body and already missing it, craving more. I lean my head back on the couch trying to recover. Fucking hell that was something else, I have never felt anything so intense. I think I blacked out for a second there as I came.

"Okay, you gotta go." She says standing before me naked.

"What?" Did I hear her right?

"Go."

She pushes my clothes and shoes into my hands, grabs my forearm and lifts me up from her couch. I think the shock of her kicking me out as soon as we're done has me not fighting back, she opens the front door and pushes me out into the corridor before I know what the fuck has happened.

"Anastasia!"

I bang on the door with my fist.

"Ana seriously?"

I'm naked out in the open and that's when I hear her neighbour's door open up behind me thanks to the noise I'm making. _Fucking great_.

"Well hello young man." I can hear the smile in her voice upon seeing my bare ass. I turn around hiding my penis with my bunched up clothing.

"Ma'am." Well this is awkward.

"Cute butt."

She winks at me and goes back inside her apartment. I quickly put on my pants and shoes and leave the building heading back to my car. I still have the fucking condom on filled with my cum which I'll have to take off once I get in the Audi.

What the hell just happened?

 **Let me know what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Ana**

I wake earlier than usual on Monday morning, I need a shower and have a headache from the wine I drank. I slowly sit up in my bed, bend my knee, lean my elbow on it and hold my head in my hand as images of last night run through my mind.

Fuck!

I slept with Christian, with Mia's brother. The plan was to yell at him a little, I'm still upset over him having someone follow me but then he kissed me. That kiss at his apartment was certainly unexpected but not totally un-welcomed, the man can not only dance but knows how to kiss, is there anything he isn't good at. He tasted slightly of chocolate and mint making me think he had something sweet not long before I showed up and oh God then Grace walked in, what must she think of me, Grace has always been so kind and welcoming of me, I bet she was as surprised as I was, I wished the ground would have opened up and swallowed me whole, I got out of there quick smart. Then he followed me and brought me home, in the cold light of day I'm grateful he did so, you hear so many horror stories of woman out on their own getting attacked or worse. Coming back her I can't believe I lost my temper like that and pushed him onto my couch, why can't he leave well enough alone, he again asked me why I walked out of the club so I kissed him, I kissed him to stop him questioning me but before I did I saw in his eyes kindness, caring, genuine concern for me and I may have thrown myself at him.

I needed the human contact, to feel wanted, for a few minutes to feel happy and let go and forget and not have a constant ache in my chest, to feel whole even if it was only an illusion. Did I use him, perhaps but he made it no secret he wanted me just as much, I can't blame the wine however it gave me the courage to make the first move. Did I accuse him of having a small dick, well I've been proven wrong in the best possible way, that thing could give a horse a run for its money.

The experience was out of this world, I know the saying is a cliché but how else do I describe it. It was unlike anything I can compare it to. The sensations I felt were intense but also natural, his smell, his lips, our kisses, all of it like a dance we had performed together dozens of times, I suppose the saying that chemistry is everything must be true, who knew disliking someone could lead to amazing sex.

Afterwards I freaked out though, there's no other explanation for it. I wasn't sure what he expected from me or if he would want to stay the night. My emotions were on a high and I was about to crash really low, I didn't want him to see me cry. I couldn't handle it in that moment so I kicked him out like some sort of nutcase. I needed space to breathe, I was panicking. The truth is while he held me as I came down from my orgasm I felt peace, a peace I haven't had fall over me in such a way in a long time, at least the last three years and I was afraid. Why did I feel that way with him? What is it about him that has my emotions ranging from one extreme to the other?

I felt safe within his arms, as if no harm will come to me as long as he's holding me. That was the scariest thing of all. Nothing and nobody is safe. I'm going insane. I hardly know the guy, why was it so different with him.

Something my mother told me when I returned to university comes to mind. She had asked me if I was dating or seeing anyone, I told her no, I wasn't interested and focusing on my studies, but she heard the lie within my words. I wasn't interested in falling in love with anyone, why would I want to put myself through that when it can just be ripped away from you without warning. The words she spoke to me then resonate with me now. " _Oh sweetie, you can't live your life afraid of love, it will be a lonely existence, one day someone is going to hug you so tight that all your broken pieces will stick back together."_ Is that was happening to me?

I need to apologise to him. That much I'm aware of. He didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of my mini meltdown. Once I closed the door on him I ran and dived under the covers of my bed crying my heart out, even now I couldn't tell you what exactly I was crying over. _You're losing the plot Ana._

My phone dings with an incoming text. Picking it up from the floor of my bedroom where it lays I see Mia's name on the screen. Shit, does she know anything, has Grace told her she caught us kissing?

 **Mia: How did it go? Do I need to come up with an alibi? LOL**

 **Ana: No, all good. He's still breathing.**

 **Mia: Lunch this week?**

 **Ana: Sure. Talk later.**

Now I have a dilemma, do I tell her, do I not tell her what happened last night. I decide to think about it later as I climb out of bed and head into the bathroom.

Once I'm ready for work in black pants and shirt I leave the apartment and stop to check my mailbox on my way out when Laura and Buddy appear on their way for a morning walk.

"Good morning."

"Morning dear. So you had a visitor last night." She chuckles with a knowing smile.

I close my eyes and groan. Oh God, strike me down now what did she see and hear.

"I'm sorry if we disturbed you." What else can I say?

"Oh please, I haven't seen a backside like that in the flesh in a long time. Good for you." She winks.

My entire face goes red as she and Buddy continue out the main front door. Who else saw him naked in the hallway? Great, I probably need to move now.

Trying to forget that little encounter I stop at the cafe to see Luke as promised before heading over to the paper, it's the usual morning rush. I spy Luke behind the counter and wave while I walk closer to him.

"She's alive."

"And in one piece as you can see."

He looks me over with a frown.

"Everything alright, you seem a little off this morning, what no sarcastic remark to go with your money coffee today."

"Yes, I just had a late night and need more sleep." Which is true, I had a hard time falling asleep, after my little crying session my body was still buzzing from Christian's attention.

He hands me a large take away coffee cup.

"Extra shot and on the house."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

"Before I forget, my parents are coming up here in a couple of weeks for my mom's birthday and I'm taking them out to dinner, want to join us?"

"Sure, let me know the details. I'll talk to you later." I lean over the counter and lay a quick kiss on his cheek. "Thanks again for the coffee, you're my hero."

"Liar."

The work day goes by in a flash of editing, lunch, more coffee and reading, when I glance at the time on my computer screen in the afternoon it's already past five so I finish up what I was doing and head out just catching my bus.

Getting home, I open my door, turn the lights on and head to the kitchen. I'm starving and pull out a frozen lasagna. I place it in the oven to cook, it should be ready in about forty minutes giving me plenty of time to have a shower and unwind.

Stepping out of the bathroom in only my towel I hear my phone ringing in my bag on the bed. I fish it out and see the call is from an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Anastasia." With only the sound of his deep voice he has my body responding to him.

"Christian."

"We need to talk."

I should have been expecting this. I'm surprised he didn't just show up here unannounced. I sit on my bed holding the towel to me tighter.

"There's nothing to talk about, it was just sex, it didn't mean anything." I try to sound as casual as possible.

"I can appreciate no strings sex, what I don't appreciate is being kicked out naked."

"I…I'm sorry about that, it's not you or anything you did, I…freaked out and…" How do I explain this without sounding even more nuts?

"Do you regret it?" He asks softly. Has he been worrying about this all day?

"No, not at all." I say convincingly to reassure him.

"Ana, I realise we haven't known each other very long, hell we've barely had a conversation that doesn't involve one of us insulting the other, but I'm here, if you ever need to talk, I'm sure Mia would have something to say about that but nonetheless you have another friend in me."

"You're being nicer than I deserve right now."

"Why's that?"

"I was a bitch to you."

"Well I forgive you, see, now we move on." I smile. He's making this so easy and not awkward. "What are you wearing?" He surprises me with his next words.

"What?" I laugh.

"Let's have some fun, I've been thinking about you a lot today."

Okay, I'll play along, how far will he take it?

"Actually, I just got out of the shower and am in fact naked beneath my towel." I lay back on my bed with the phone to my ear. I hear his intake of breathe.

"Well it didn't take me long to get you naked."

"What about you?"

"I'm in my home office, only wearing sweat pants." I pull up a mental image of him behind a desk, his abs on display.

"Take them off, slowly, tell me as you're doing it." I instruct boldly.

I hear shuffling as he puts me on loudspeaker.

"I have my waistband in my hands, I'm pulling them down my hips, passing my ass, they're down to my thighs, now my knees oh and by the way I was going commando. They are now a pile on my floor and I'm here naked."

As we spoke it didn't take long for this game to turn from fun to serious as my hands roamed across my body, craving a release, craving something only he could give me. I pinched my hardened nipples as he instructed with his voice crooning in my ear, my hands gliding down to my stomach.

"Play with your pussy, tell me how it feels, are you wet?"

I touch myself, paying extra attention to the nerves on my clitoris which is now throbbing for attention.

"Wet and empty. I can still feel you from last night."

"Fucking hell."

My fingers enter my body, his words of encouragement and lust rushing me towards the peak, he doesn't stop describing how me saw me and my body last night, he must have memorised each of my body parts the with the way he's talking, how he felt while were joined together, he continues until I cum loudly with his dirty words in my ear. Holy shit, this man is definitely good for my ego.

"Do you want me to touch myself?"

"Yes." I gasp still catching my breath.

"I'm so hard thinking about you touching yourself, I can picture you spread out on your bed. If I was there right now I would be licking your beautiful body everywhere. I have my cock in my hand, imaging what your mouth feels like on it."

"My hot, wet mouth on you, my tongue licking you from base to tip, sucking you into the back of my throat, you know I don't have a gag reflex, I could take you all the way in, I would taste your pre-cum, rub your tip along my lips, I want to taste your cum, taste you as you spill everything you have in my mouth, swallow it all down." I have no idea where these words are coming from but they are having the desired effect and I'm enjoying being able to reduce him to a man I can simply pleasure with my words. I'm surprised by how unembarrassed I am in this moment, how easily he has gotten me to let my inhibitions go or perhaps it's the simple fact I can't see him and he can't see me.

"Shit." He pants

His breathing is coming hard and fast over the line. I hear the slapping noise as he pulls on his dick roughly.

"Are you close?"

"So close baby."

Just then the peacefulness of my apartment is disturbed with the screeching noise of my smoke alarm.

The lasagna!

"Oh shit, I gotta go." I hang up running into the smoke filled kitchen, I turn off the blaring alarm, then the oven and pull out my ruined dinner before what just happened hits me and I start laughing loudly in the middle of my smoky kitchen. Poor Christian, I didn't mean to leave him hanging however I can't stop laughing at the situation I most likely left him in.

 **Christian**

I woke up this morning hard as a fucking brick, my dick crying at being abandoned so quickly last night. I can't believe she cut me off short and ended the call so suddenly. I was tempted to drive over to her apartment to play out the fantasy of having her suck my cock then thought better of it, it would make me appear not only desperate but also ridiculous.

I'm acting like a teenager not allowed out of the house who has to resort to phone sex with his girlfriend. What is this woman doing to me? When I asked her what she was wearing I didn't really think she would answer, I was expecting to be told to get lost however once again she shocked me. I should expect the unexpected from her.

I drove home on Sunday night in a daze. Anastasia Steele is a mystery, one I want to solve, now that I've had a taste of her, I'm craving more already like an addict. I wanted to call her as soon as I got home but decided to give her more time to process whatever it was that had her shoving me out of her apartment like that, pushing her was not going to work in my favour. I thought we connected, there was something there and she's not going to get rid of me that easily. By lunchtime on Monday I asked Taylor to get her phone number for me. I composed a dozen texts but never sent them, I needed to speak to her, I needed answers, I had to be able to hear her words, her tone of voice in order to gauge her true thoughts and feelings, the night certainly didn't ended as anticipated.

I'm currently standing in the lobby of my building halfway through my Tuesday to have a look at the new artwork that was just brought in and hung up on the wall. It's a beautiful painting by a local artist of a black dragon which is sitting on a rock, it appears to be high in the sky with a combination of both dark and white clouds behind it. It's perfect. Turning to head back up to my office I'm surprised to see Ana getting into an elevator and she's all on her own. I rush over sticking my hand between the closing doors and enter the small space with her. She looks up. I see her breath hitch once she sees who's just gotten in with her.

She's nervous, she should be.

"Hi, Christian." She smiles tightly.

"Hello, Anastasia." I drawl. "What brings you here, Miss Steele?"

"I'm having lunch with Mia."

I stalk her into the corner. She steps away from me, her back hitting the wall. I press the button for my floor then push the emergency stop, stranding us between the fifth and sixth floors.

"What are you doing?"

"We have unfinished business."

"We do?"

"You hung up on me. At a crucial point."

"I'm sorry, my smoke alarm went off."

Why was her smoke alarm going off? Was there an emergency in the building?

"Did you burn the place down?"

"No, only my dinner." So that explains it.

She's wearing a long sleeved animal print dress which reaches the middle of her thighs. Perfect for what I have in mind. Easy access to the centre of her body.

Not wasting another second I kiss her, she kisses me back without hesitation, her hands reaching for the back of my head.

I run my index finger up the length of her left leg, she shivers as I do so, I continue under the hem of her dress until I reach her panties, she makes no move to stop me so I pull them to the side exposing her. I touch her skin, her pussy is already wet, I'm amazed at how quickly she has become aroused, her body is so responsive to my ministrations it gives me a power trip knowing I have such control over her body in such a way.

She lifts her leg of her own volition resting it against my hip, opening herself up to me. Her hands move down entering the inside of my suit jacket, grabbing onto the back of my shirt, she pulls it out of my pants, her small hands diving under the material, touching my bare skin, her cool hands against my warm skin.

With my index finger I circle then probe her entrance, slowly pushing it within her tight sex, my palm rubbing against her clit, her hips move forward in order to gain friction but I keep my hand still, only moving my finger that's held inside her body slightly, torturing her, the desperate sounds coming out of her mouth while our lips continue to be melded together a cry for more.

The smell of her arousal fills the small space of the lift and it's taking everything in me to not take her against the mirrored wall, pull my cock out and plunge it into her body. I've been wound up for the last 16 hours, even jacking off in the shower this morning did nothing to sate me.

Needing air to breathe I pull away from her lips, keeping my finger working her, adding a second one to join the first, pressing into her warmth as far as I can reach, my face falling to the space of her neck.

"Since I tasted you on my fingers Sunday night, I wanted more, you're sweet and juicy like a peach, maybe that's what I'll call you from now on. Peaches." I whisper in her ear, my breath tickling her sensitive skin. I lay a kiss against the column of her throat.

"Please."

She whimpers, digging her fingers into my flesh then swivels her hips chasing her release, my fingers move in a come-hither motion against her inner walls, I sense her breathing change, she's getting close to her climax.

"Do you want to come?"

"Yes." She pants.

"How?"

"With your mouth, you cock, your fingers, I don't care how, please." Oh baby, I like you begging however not this time.

I withdraw my fingers from her body. She blinks up at me confused, her big blue eyes bright from lust. I press the button on the elevator to resume our journey up.

"No, I don't think I'll let you, payback's a bitch, baby. Later peaches." I give her a swift kiss to her soft lips, which remain open in shock once we reach my floor. I stroll out with my hands in my pockets hoping no one pays attention to my pants and the outline of my dick pressing against the material.

I enjoyed that way too much. Your move next Miss Steele.

 **Mia**

My office door opens and Ana comes in.

"Great you made it."

She says nothing just stands there and before I know what's happening big tears are falling down her face. I leave my chair, cross my office and take her into my arms in a hug, she falls against me, holding me tightly. I move us across the room and urge her to sit on the black leather couch I have in here.

"What happened?"

She avoids eye contact keeping her eyes trained down into her lap.

"I slept with your brother, I'm sorry." She tells me quietly.

"Sunday night?"

She nods back.

"Okay, well, you're both adults but why the tears." I could tell they were attracted to each other, the way they react to one another is too strong to just fizzle out on its own.

She briefly fills me in on the last couple of days without going into too any details, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when she informed me my mother caught them kissing. I need to call her once Ana leaves and get all the gossip from her side. She finishes her little tale with telling me that they just had a run in in the elevator. Whatever occurred between them a few minutes ago is bothering her, she hasn't stopped fidgeting her fingers in her lap, it's one of her tells, she's overthink things.

I love Ana, she's the sister I never had, we click in a way that is difficult to explain, it was automatic, from the moment we introduced ourselves to each other I haven't looked back or regretted opening up to her. She's fun and caring and genuinely one of the nicest people you will ever come across. I know she's still dealing with the fallout of the accident, I have to question whether getting involved with Christian is a good idea, she has been adamant for so long that she isn't interested in a relationship.

"What do I do, Mia? Are you mad at me?"

I place my arm round her shoulders. That's the last thing I am, I would say it's more concern that I'm experiencing.

"Of course not. Listen, I can't tell either of you what to do with your lives, you can make your own decisions and you know I love you like a sister but he's my brother, my family, and you, you don't have a mean bone in your body, but that being said I know how hard some days still are for you, if you are not ready to let him in, if this is only a bit of fun or a game just walk away now. Don't hurt him Ana."

"That's the last thing I want to do. I can't explain it, he's different. It frightens me." Maybe there's hope then if she's questioning herself.

"One thing about Christian, he loves with his whole heart and he's loyal, the woman he chooses to spend his life with is going to be one lucky lady. No one is saying you need to run off and get married, get to know each other and I mean by going out to dinner and talking, you need to be ready to give him a chance a real chance. Think about it." Having a sister in law I actually like will be terrific but I don't say that out loud.

Not for the first time I think to myself if anyone is to be a perfect match for my brother it would be Ana. She won't take any of his shit, but she needs to make the decision to open her heart up again.

We ordered in some wraps for lunch and talked some more as we ate. By the time she left, a half hour late to get back to work, she had a smile on her face again.

"I didn't mean to unload all this on you, Mia. Kind of heavy for lunchtime conversation."

"Yeah and not a wine bottle in sight. Hey, I'm your best friend, if you can't tell me who can you tell, even if it is about my brother, which I admit I don't need to know all the specific details."

After seeing her out and into the elevator I make my way back to my office, pick up the phone on my desk and call Christian who should be in his office.

"Ana just left, she was a mess." I start when he picks up.

He sounds worried about her indicating he's already in deeper than he thinks.

"What did she say?"

"She told me what happened Sunday night."

"Are you mad?"

He repeats the words Ana used. Ana is unlike my other female friends, she's going to be in my life for a long time hopefully and if things don't work out between them I don't want to be stuck in the middle.

"No, not really. Listen, just back off for a while, don't come across so strong, you'll only end up scaring her, I love you both, however you need to be gentle with her, I don't want either of you getting burned by whatever this is."

"So what do I do just sit back? You know that's not me."

"She's convinced you hate her."

"I don't hate her, Mia."

"If you want this thing, whatever it is between you to work then you need to listen to me. Give her some space for a few days or wait for her to contact you."

"Why?"

"Christian all I'm going to say is Ana has closed herself off, she needs someone to force herself to open up her heart again, do you think you're patient enough to wait until she's ready to fully put herself out there again. If she's ever ready. I saw how upset you were when things with Lilly ended the way they did."

"This is different, I was more upset that she went behind my back and Lilly wasn't exactly the love of my life."

"And Ana is?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you feel something for her."

"I don't know, Mia I'm trying to figure it out myself."

This gives me an idea. And if it works they better name their first born after me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **Christian**

Taking Mia's advice I step back for the time being, if Ana needs time, to not feel coerced into some type of relationship she is not comfortable with I can give her that, I think she's worth it in the long run, I can be patient. Well, somewhat patient. When Mia told me that she had closed herself off I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to cause that. As much as I wanted answers I couldn't ask Mia to betray her friend's trust like that. What is it that I feel for her exactly? Sure I'm attracted to her and we have this insane sexual chemistry but it's more than that, a part of her calls to me and I've known her less than a month, it's nothing like any of my previous relationships.

I won't push or even call her, but that doesn't mean I can't keep her mind on me in other ways.

I sent Ana a single red rose accompanied by a large plastic purple vibrator in a long black box, it was delivered to her apartment first thing Wednesday morning. I thought it would be funny and she would appreciate the joke considering how we left things the last time I saw her. The card I wrote to go along with it said "think of me."

She texts me while I'm in the car being driven to work.

 **A: What am I supposed to do with this?**

 **C: I can come over and demonstrate if you like.**

I get no response for a few minutes and then a picture comes through. She sent me a photo of it in a bowl being used as an egg beater.

 **A: Never mind I figured it out.**

I let out a loud belly laugh. She certainly has a sense of humour, I love that I can joke around with her and not fear she'll be offended. You win this round Miss Steele.

XXXXX

Thursday afternoon I had stopped by the hospital to have a quick lunch with my mother. She wanted to talk to me about something, she seemed hesitant to bring it up but then she was called away without a chance to tell me anything. Now I'm worrying over what it could be. It's not like my parents to keep secrets from us. They have always been open and honest with us about most things.

I happen to run into Ana's elderly neighbour on my way out. She's walking out of the main hospital doors at the same time as I.

"So it seems we meet again." She smiles kindly as she stops beside me.

"Ma'am." I don't embarrass easily however faced with the sweet little old lady who saw my bare ass I feel my cheeks heat. The last time we came face to face I wasn't exactly dressed.

"Oh stop with the ma'am, I'm not that old and I have seen enough to say we're on a first name basis."

"Christian." I introduce myself and shake her hand.

"I'm Laura. Unless you're busy how about we grab a cup of tea and you can tell me about yourself."

"I would be honoured." I offer her my arm and we walk together to a little café across the street from the hospital with Taylor following. Perhaps she can give me an insight to a certain brunette.

We're at a little outdoor table with tea and scones for Laura and a cup of coffee for me. I take a sip then ask her if she's okay health wise seeing as she was at the hospital.

"Oh yes, nothing's going to keep me down, just here for a yearly check-up. I used to work as a nurse many years ago. Things have certainly changed since I was running up and down the wards. Back then everything was written down on paper. They have it easy now days."

"I can imagine, my mother is a doctor at the hospital, she works in paediatrics. She can never thank the nurses who work so hard enough."

"She sounds like a smart lady. Now tell me, what's the story with you and my beautiful, young neighbour."

"Umm…well…" I fiddle with the handle of my mug.

She starts laughing.

"Oh, dear boy, I'm not blind, I think I can figure it out. You just be kind to her, she's such a lovely helpful girl, I would hate to have to stick Buddy on you."

 _That damn dog is a terror._

"Me either." I agree.

Over the next twenty minutes I develop a fond affection for Laura, she's quite funny and not afraid to speak her mind. There is no way I want to cross her going forward, as nice as she is I think she can be mean and scary if she wants to. Once our drinks are finished I have Taylor drop her off at home with a promise to keep my clothes on in public.

XXXXX

Right now I'm looking at my sister and I can't decide whether to hug her or kill her. It's Sunday night and we've just boarded the company private jet, I'm seated across from her when she drops a bomb on me.

The trip to go inspect the resort in Fiji was brought up to next week and my darling sister has arranged for Ana to be there as well. She spoke to Eamon Kavanagh and organised for his daughter Kate to attend as a work trip to promote the resort and to bring Ana along as a favour for having the exclusive to break the news once the sale goes through. As far as Ana is aware she has no clue that Mia and I will be there or that I'm purchasing the place. This is going to be a disaster.

"Please tell me you're joking." I shake my head at her.

"Not at all." She smiles widely.

"If Ana finds out that you've manipulated into her being there, she's going to freak. I thought you told me to step back and not harass her, give her some time on her own without pressure. What the hell do you call this?"

It's a twelve hour flight to Fiji, I'm certain I can come up with a number of ways to torture Mia over the next few hours for this little stunt. Swimming with sharks is one idea.

"Relax." Mia tells me. "It will be fine."

"Relax? Mia, what were you hoping to achieve with this. We're going there to work, now you're playing matchmaker."

"Yes, I know what I said and I still believe it but being in the same place is not being pushy, if you don't want them to your paths don't even have to cross, I just thought being in a different environment might help her to unwind and let her guard down a little. You'll have five days of being on an island together, you can either talk or kill each other. Plus you both deserve some time away to loosen up, have fun, it's killing two birds with one stone."

More like I kill you for putting us in this situation if Ana doesn't get around to it first.

 **Ana**

What is happiness, being content with the life you have, not wanting and yearning for something out of your reach? We all find joy in different things. What's mine? Pull back the layers and what do you find under the surface. Every person on this planet has their own fears and struggles, some people just deal with it better than others, they're stronger and don't allow their problems to bring them to their knees. My layers would expose a bleeding heart, and broken soul. How long can I go on feeling this way?

There are no second chances in this life, you try to do the best with the hand you are dealt. There are days I'm angry, days I'm sad and days where I just go through the motions not feeling anything. If I could only go back to when life was simpler, before having had to grow up, running around in the backyard with Andrew, when the least of our worries was where to hide next so we wouldn't be found during a game of hide 'n' seek. Unfortunately that is not possible.

It's been two days since seeing Christian and talking to Mia. Open myself up she said. How do I do that? Do I want to give him a chance? Do I back away and regret it in the future for being a coward. Because that is the truth of the matter, I can admit it; I'm a coward and would like nothing more than to stay in my safe little world. Trying to picture my future I see myself just as I am now, alone with perhaps a cat or two. Or do I allow myself to imagine a whole different life. One with laughter and family, the kind of life my parents once had and wished for me to enjoy.

I'm seated on my couch with my laptop resting on my legs, I'm supposed to be working on my children's book but have hit a major wall of writer's block. What is his next adventure going to be? What lesson is to be learnt?

I look up at the single red rose in a tiny vase on my coffee table. I can't believe Christian sent me that vibrator. First I was shocked then saw the funny side of it. I mean I used it, not that I would ever tell him that. It was his fault for leaving me all strung out in the first place. I smile at the thought. Thinking about the past few days they haven't felt as bad and it's probably because of Christian and the distraction he's given me. Can I continue feeling this way with him around, that the days won't seem so awful if he's around. I wish I had the answers.

I need to take a break from writing, stop thinking about where the next scene will end. I pull up my web browser and enter Winter's Flame. I'm curious about the game Christian created. While I was in the building and Mia's office there were posters and paintings on the walls. They looked interesting and there was something other wordly about them, leaving the building I noticed the large print of the black dragon in the foyer, it was simply beautiful and magical.

I click on the link where it takes to me to the starting page. I create an account and am shown a breathtaking video of the lands which encompass this world, its mountains with their peaks in the clouds, the stark snow filled places, royal kingdoms with impressive castles, abundant green forests and a number of dragons flying around. Whoever designed these worlds are so incredibly talented. The music playing in the background calls to you, as if you know something spectacular is about to take place.

I need to create a character before I can start playing. After a long search of all my options I finally have my avatar. My character is a long red haired, female warrior, dressed in silver armour, she's strong and fierce looking, the complete opposite to me. I name her Willow.

My first task is to find the blacksmith in the marketplace where I am to choose my weapon. I select a sword with a pretty blue handle. I'm then given my quest, I have to find the king's young son who has been lost for the last month. He was last seen in the woods outside the castle gates and must start my journey there. Find the clues and discover what has happened to him. Before setting off on the path I'm supposed to take I'm warned by an old man sitting outside a tavern holding a flask of beer to beware the dragons of the land, they don't take kindly to humans entering their territory.

I begin to play and am immersed in the game and music and graphics, before I know it when I glance at the time two hours have passed. I was so lost in the fantasy world. The dragons so realistic and kinda scary. Wow, no wonder it's so popular and he's made a shit load of money off this. This really is an amazing game. He should be incredibly proud.

Christian has shared a part of himself with the entire world when he created this game and put it out there for them all to share in. To feel a part of a larger community, he's managed to bring people who have a common interest together. I wonder how many people have made online friends through a game like this.

The million dollar question now is do I put myself out there too.

XXXXX

Thursday I'm standing in the staff kitchen making a tuna and tomato sandwich for lunch when Kate walks up to me smiling and appearing excited over something.

"Hi. What has you grinning like that?"

"Guess what, you're coming to Fiji with me."

Did I hear her correctly? I freeze with the knife in my hand.

"Wait, what, why?" I frown at her. I don't understand.

"The powers that be are sending me to check out a resort for a travel piece, the new lifestyle writer, Irene was supposed to come along with me, however she's ill and unable to travel. We're leaving on Sunday night. Do what you need to do and pack your bags."

That's only three days away. She can't be serious.

"Why me, I'm no journalist. I can't be of any help." There has to be some sort of mistake.

"I asked for you and they agreed. Honestly, I can't stand Irene, she's so negative and I would much rather hang out with you anyway. It will be fun, you can give me your honest opinion of the place as a guest. Think of it as a paid vacation."

I'm speechless, I never expected to have to travel anywhere, how can I say no to her, a week away, beach and cocktails and all paid for, I would be a fool to turn her down.

I guess I need to pack and find my passport.

XXXXX

After a twelve hour flight and then a short thirty minute trip by sea plane I find myself in paradise. I let Luke and my parents know where I was headed for the next week, they were surprised of the suddenness of it but I couldn't contain my excitement when we took off, this is my first trip to the other side of the world, I'm looking forward to laying on the beach, reading and drinking cocktails for the next few days.

This place is amazing, a true dream location, Turtle Island is what I always imagined paradise looked like. On the plane Kate told me we're staying on a five star private island, it holds 14 villas, there are ten private beaches and a blue lagoon. We are greeted by the locals on the beach singing a welcome song and handing out cocktails and flower leis. Apparently the place is to undergoing new management however I hope they don't make too many changes. I'm loving what I'm seeing so far.

Kate and I are staying in what is called the water's edge villa. There are stone steps which lead right onto the sand and the water from our front door. The inside is all wood with a large king sized wooden four poster bed with a mosquito net surrounding it, it's very romantic. Just a shame I'm here with Kate.

After exploring our villa and having some lunch from the buffet in the main restaurant, it's only early afternoon, I'm feeling jetlagged and restless so decide to go check out the gym to work some of this energy off. I change into some leggings and a sports bra, leaving Kate in the Villa setting up her laptop. Walking into the enormous room filled with workout equipment I'm so taken by the view through the large window I don't notice that there is someone coming out at the same time and of course I run straight onto them. I start to apologise but the words die on my lips. I just ran into a sweaty, topless Christian. And I mean smack bang into his bare sweaty chest. The smell of him has my body clamouring, seeking his out.

I step back. Oh God, please tell me my eyes are deceiving me.

"What are you doing here?" I actually squeak out.

"I'm here on a business trip. Mia is around somewhere, I'm surprised she didn't mention it to you. What are you doing here?" His voice comes out a little higher than usual. His eyes stray to the exposed skin of my stomach due to my short top.

"Kate brought me along, she's here to write an article for the paper on the resort."

"Well, have fun." He says after clearing his throat.

He walks away wiping his face with his towel. That's it?

Somehow I don't believe this is one big coincidence.

 **A/N: Thank you for reading. Next up, Ana will begin to open up to Christian and we'll find out what occurred the night her brother died.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Tissue warning. I cried writing Ana'a flashback. You may need one too.**

 **Chapter 9**

 **Christian**

I had an early dinner meeting this evening with the current management of the resort and the owner to finalise details and assure them all that nothing will change, they will all be keeping their employment, except improvements to the buildings. Mia has some great ideas to promote it, not that it's needed seeing as the place is pretty much booked out all year long however she suggested we use a trip out here as an incentive for employees. As I walked around the place a few things jumped out that need updating, we might add a bigger spa, there's no pool on the island considering there are so many beaches but perhaps it's a feature we can think about adding.

It's just before seven o'clock and the sun is beginning to set, I didn't feel like staying in my villa working or watching a movie so I set out for a walk. I'm slowly strolling along the sand, my hands in the pockets of my shorts admiring the landscape, the area is surrounded by palm and frangipani trees, once again I'm reminded of Ana thanks to those little white and yellow flowers, even nature seems to be against me, the smell of frangipanis filling my nostrils as I wander along thinking about our run in at the gym when I see the woman herself on her own in the distance seated on the beach staring out at the water. Without a second thought I make my way over to her and stop about two feet away. She cranes her neck back to look at me.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Can I join you?"

"Of course."

I park my butt on the sand right next to her, bending my knees and leaning my arms on them. It's a warm night, the breeze is blowing, it's so peaceful with the only sound the small waves breaking gently on the shore.

"This is a really gorgeous place to stay. Are you buying it?" She asks.

"I am. Besides the game and company which takes up most of my time I also have a couple of hotels, it keeps money rolling in and people in employment. Have you spoken to Mia?"

"Yeah, I had to yell at her a little for being so sneaky." She smiles. Her whole face lights up when she smiles. At least she's not mad.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea she had organised this."

"It's okay, I can't complain, look where I am after all." She indicates the ocean before us.

"Yeah, you forget about everything back home in a place like this." Like letters from biological fathers burning a hole in your safe.

"I played your game." Well that's surprising. I shift my body towards her.

"You did? What did you think?" I'm a little nervous waiting to hear her opinion.

"I liked it, in fact I was playing for two hours before I even knew it. You have created something extremely incredible, you should be proud. I kind of understand more of what it is you do now. So you're like the rock star of gaming or something right, I mean since it's so popular. Just how many people play it anyway?"

I laugh at her choice of words. No one has called me the rock star of gaming before. My brother would have a field day of jokes with that one.

"Well I never thought of it like that but thank you, it means a lot to know you enjoyed it, being a newbie and all and at last count about 3.5 million players are registered." I'm still in awe of just how many individuals out there continue to enjoy and play my not so little game anymore.

"Wow. Do you ever play?"

"Sometimes, when I have free time or have introduced new content to the game I like to get honest feedback from players who have no idea who I am."

We fall into conversation about my favourite parts of Winter's Flame and what we're hoping to achieve in the future with it. She tells me how far she reached in her quest and I'm actually impressed she got to that point for not having played before. I don't think any other female has ever been happy to listen to me talk about the game without getting bored.

A quiet falls and I feel the mood shift between us.

"It was the song." She utters quietly.

"What was?" She has a frown on her face while looking down at her feet.

"The reason I ran out of the club on your birthday, it was because of the song that was playing. I don't know if you know, if Mia has ever told you, but I lost my brother three years ago. The lyrics to that song were the last thing I ever heard him say."

 **Ana**

 _Flashback - 3 years ago_

 _I'm driving my mom's SUV along the highway back home, there's hardly any traffic for a Saturday night. Andrew is in the passenger seat beside me signing along to Uptown Funk at the top of his lungs and dancing in his seat. I don't know whether I love or hate Bruno Mars in this moment._

 _He was at a friend's place after coaching today and ended up staying for dinner, my dad had organised to take my mom out for dinner tonight at some fancy restaurant so I was stuck picking him up._

 _"_ _Could you be any louder?"_

 _"_ _I could try." He pokes his tongue out at me._

 _"_ _Very mature."_

 _"_ _You love me."_

 _We may fight and tease each other but he knows I adore him, which is why he gets away with almost anything._

 _"_ _How was your game earlier?" I'm home from college for the summer however I feel as if I have hardly seen him, he had a tennis match this afternoon and is out with his friends more than he's been home._

 _"_ _Good, I managed to win two of my three games, my backhand still needs work though, oh my god, Luke sent me the funniest joke earlier. Where's my phone?"_

 _"_ _On my head, can't you see it?"_

 _"_ _Your sarcasm is not needed."_

 _He tries to reach for his bag which he threw on to the back seat but can't quite grab it. He undoes his seat belt, twists around on the seat and kneels to leans over pulling his phone out._

 _"_ _Put your belt back on."_

 _"_ _One second."_

 _He's acting like a goofball twerking his butt to the music. I can't help but smile at his antics. He was always a clown ever since he was little._

 _"_ _Seriously, Drew."_

 _"_ _Okay."_

 _He sits back down but never gets the chance to put his seatbelt back around himself, I'm suddenly blinded by bright headlights behind me causing me to squint, I hear screeching tyres which confuses me and makes me look down at my foot on the pedal and in the next second I feel the impact, I have no time to react or do anything, the back of my car is hit by another vehicle, I'm spinning in the middle of the road, I try to hold onto the wheel, to brake to stop us somehow plus at the same time trying to not panic, I can hear Andrew yelling beside me, then we hit in to a pole head on, the airbags are exploding, there is glass and metal shattering, I know that awful noise will stay with me forever, then the worst sight occurs right before me, it's like watching it in slow motion, unable to stop it happening, I see Andrew fly through the windscreen due to the impact, landing on the road a few feet away._

 _"_ _Oh my god."_

 _My chest is sore from the pressure of the airbag and I'm frozen. Afraid to move. Afraid to believe what just happened. I glace to the passenger seat but it's empty. My brother no longer next to me._

 _"_ _No, no, no, no."_

 _My heart has lodged into my throat, I can't breathe, this is a dream, this isn't happening. With shaky arms and legs I push open my door, it creaks and squeaks. I almost fall out in my rush to get to him._

 _I'm screaming out for him and crying, my tears falling uncontrollably, blurring my vision._

 _"_ _ANDREW!"_

 _I run over to where he is laying, ignoring the pain in my own body, I fall to my knees beside him, not knowing where to touch him, he's bleeding from his head, he has cuts, his back could be damaged and have broken bones. I'm so scared in this moment that I can't help him. What do I do?_

 _"_ _Ana…" He calls out for me, I can hear the fear in his voice._

 _His eyes flutter briefly._

 _"_ _No, don't close your eyes." I place my hand on his forearm letting him know I'm here. As long as his eyes remain open, he's fine. He's fine. I run my other hand through his hair, the same shade of brown as mine, I pull it away sticky and red from his blood. Please no._

 _I hear cars stop and people yelling as they run over towards us. I look up and around. They're on phones making calls to 911 informing them of where we are._

 _"_ _HELP ME! God, please someone help!" I feel helpless, what do I do? I need a miracle. I need to go back in time._

 _"_ _Ana…" He chokes out, "I'm scared."_

 _I grip his hand tightly with mine._

 _"_ _You're going to be fine." You have to be._

 _"_ _The ambulance is on their way. They said it's best to not move him." Somebody says near me. I can only nod at them in gratitude. How did this happen? A minute ago everything was fine. He was singing and dancing. We were joking around. Now, he's sprawled broken in the middle of the fucking road._

 _"_ _It hurts so much." He wheezes out._

 _"_ _I know sweetheart, just hold on, the ambulance is on its way. I'm sorry." I'm so sorry._

 _"_ _I'm cold."_

 _There's a blonde gentleman nearby who must have heard him as he grabs a blanket from the trunk of his car, offering it to me. I place it over my brother._

 _"_ _There that's better." I can barely swallow from the tears clogging up my throat._

 _He closes his eyes again and I shake his arm._

 _"_ _No, stay awake. Sing with me…please Andrew."_

 _"_ _This hit, that ice cold_

 _Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold_

 _This one for the hood girls_

 _Them good girls straight masterpiece."_

 _I see his lips moving following along, his voice fading with each word. My lips are trembling as I try to not break apart. The adrenaline rushing through my body causing me to uncontrollably shake all over._

 _I hear the sirens in the distance getting closer, the red and blue flashing lights appearing. I start to pray, making every promise under the sun to God to save my brother except in my heart I'm afraid, so afraid this is the last time I'll see him, hold him, talk to him. I will never forgive myself if he doesn't survive this. This can't be how his life ends._

 _End flashback_

I'm crying as I finish recounting my memories of that awful night. Christian wipes away the tears that fall on my cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't…don't say that, I'm sick of hearing that word, and please don't look at me with pity, I've had enough of that to last a lifetime, you know, my parents couldn't even keep their marriage from falling apart because of the pain and loss, there are days I feel so lost and responsible for everything." I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, very ladylike.

"Look at me." He demands.

I slowly raise my head and find his eyes with mine, all I see reflected back is compassion and understanding, not a trace of pity for the poor girl who caused her brother's death.

"I apologise for pushing you in telling me why you ran out. If I had any idea I would have let it go."

"You weren't to know. No one knows. I haven't been able to share that part of that night before with anyone. It was always too painful to mention. I still blame myself."

"What happened to the other driver who crashed into you?"

"Killed as well. He was drunk and speeding. I'm glad though, I don't care if that makes me sound like a horrible person but I couldn't stand the thought of them walking around living their life when it's their fault my brother isn't. I hope he's in hell somewhere. Does that make me a terrible person? Being happy over someone's demise, his family is probably mourning him as we are grieving our loss, but I can't be sorry over it."

He takes my hands in his, holding them in his larger one. It's comforting.

"Not at all, you have every right to feel what you do. Were you injured in the crash?"

"Not really, I was a little sore, a few cuts and bruises from the seatbelt and airbag but nothing serious. So you see I can't hear that song without it bringing me back to that night. It's all my fault, I'm the reason my brother is gone, if only I waited five extra minutes to pick him up or got there a few minutes earlier he would still be here. It's also why I ride my bike everywhere. I can't drive again. I'm okay being driven around but I can't be behind the wheel. I can't be responsible for someone else's life ever again."

I'm taking a big leap off the damn cliff here, telling him all my secrets, I hope I don't end up regretting it. If Mia went to all this trouble to get me here the least I can do is try to open myself up.

"I wish I knew what to say." He lets go of one of my hands to push my hair back and off my face.

"You don't have to say anything."

"You may not feel it, but you're stronger than you think. You keep going and the last thing you are is lost, I think you're exactly where you're meant to be."

I stare into his gray eyes as my breath hitches in my lungs. Placing my right hand on his cheek feeling the scruff of his facial hair, I lean in and kiss him as his arms wrap around my waist slowly and gently.

"Thank you for saying that." I murmur against his lips.

I stand up out of his hold, grab the hem of my dress and lift it over my head, dropping it on the sand beside me.

"What are you doing?" He asks amused if not a little confused.

"Going for a swim, you coming?"

With my back to him I remove my bra and underwear then run into the warm water, the waves splashing up behind me as I wade in. I used to be more self-conscious but then after Andrew died, I decided to let all that shit go and take risks, live my life without regrets. Do things I usually would be too afraid to do before, like skinny dipping.

"Come on!" I yell out behind me.

I need to pull myself out of the deep, dark, depressive thoughts I've exposed us to, the words just poured out of me so easily. That hasn't happened before, my parents tried to get me to talk to a therapist but I hated it, I didn't want to re-live that day over and over again so I stopped going. What is it about Christian that had me pouring my heart out?

I stop once the water reaches my waist then dive underneath, covering my body up to the neck in the ocean. I look back towards Christian, he's only a shadow on the beach thanks to the moonlight but I see him stand and start removing his clothes. It only takes him a minute to be butt naked and reach me.

"What if someone comes this way?" He worries looking up and down the stretch of sand.

"It's dark and there's no one around." We're on a deserted private island I'm certain no one will be disturbing us.

I splash him in the face, which gets a water fight started, we're laughing and yelling and trying to catch each other in the water, attempting to drown one another.

I yell when something touches my leg.

"Afraid of a little seaweed." He jokes.

"Yes."

I try to attack him again however this time he doesn't allow me to win. He grabs my legs pulling me towards him, I wrap them around his hips, my arms around his neck, I feel weightless as he carries me. I can feel his erection heavy and hot against my stomach. We stare into each other's eyes. In the dark I can't see him very well but I can hear his breathing, feel his chest as it rises up and down.

I'm shaking but it has nothing to do with the cold. His strong muscled arms cradle me, my breasts are flush against his chest. Our mouths meet in a tangle of tongues and teeth. I reach in between us and take hold of his hard dick, fisting it and running my hand up and down.

"I want you."

He groans at my words.

"Condom?"

"It's fine I'm on the shot, you can pull out into the water if you want."

"We're going to scare the fishes."

"Well then we better give them one hell of a show."

Using my legs I rise slightly as I guide him to my entrance, I push down sheathing him with my body. I allow him to take control, to guide me however he needs. My fingers dig into his shoulders as he thrusts gently, his own gripping my thighs, I need him to move faster although he doesn't, he continues the same pace, slowly but surely bringing us to the point where I will fall apart in his arms, meanwhile the stars above twinkle down on us, their light reflecting off the darkness of the water, the sound of nature providing the musical backdrop.

"Does this still not mean anything?" He asks between kisses. I don't have an answer to that.

I feel his head duck down and then lips around my nipple, he bites down, the combination of pleasure and pain bringing forth my climax as he continues to move me up and down. He follows two seconds later. I feel him pulsing deep within me as he cums.

"Fuck, Ana, oh God."

I place small kisses along his warm lips as I come back down from the heights he sent me flying to.

"Spend the night with me." He asks.

I hesitate. What will it mean if I do? There's giving something a chance and there's moving too fast. It's crazy, I've had sex with the man twice now but somehow staying the night feels more intimate which I don't think I'm ready for yet.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Kate will be wondering where I am."

I push back against his chest, disconnecting our bodies and stand in the water.

"Ana…" He stops whatever he was about to say and nods. "Can I take you somewhere tomorrow?"

"I would like that. Goodnight, Christian."

I kiss his lips and walk out of the water, picks up my clothes and disappear into the night leaving him in the water. When I reach my villa I find Kate already passed out and slightly snoring, I have a shower then climb into bed feeling a little lighter than I did earlier.

Tomorrow should be interesting. I fall asleep with a smile on my face for the first time in a long while.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **Ana**

The next morning Kate and I are lounging on the floral couch in our villa, having just had breakfast and relaxing, enjoying the sun's rays beaming in through the large window behind us and the peacefulness. I grin as I replay last night's activities, my thighs involuntarily clenching at the memory. When I first woke up and looked out at the ocean my thoughts strayed to Christian, reflecting on how I poured my heart out to him and the way he made me feel as if everything was going to be okay when he held me.

"Did you know Christian Grey was buying this resort?" I blurt out to Kate.

"Yeah, my father mentioned it when he told me I was coming out here, the article is to exclusively break the news of GEH purchasing the place."

"Did you know he was here?"

She sits up.

"No. He is?"

"Mmm hmm." I nod.

"Is there a story here that I don't know about?" She eyes me with interest.

How much do I tell her? Do I want to open up this can of worms with her and be pestered with a hundred questions, she didn't get the reputation of being tenacious for nothing.

"Not really, I ran into him yesterday. I think I mentioned his sister was my college roommate, she's here too."

"You have to admit he's ridiculously good looking." _I suppose so._

"What do you have planned for the day?" I ask to change the subject.

"I'm gonna go check out the spa I think this morning. Give my toes a little bit of attention." She wiggles her feet towards me. "Want to join me?"

Before I'm able to reply I hear a high pitched ringing sound coming from outside. I step out the door to find Christian waiting outside with two bikes. He smiles looking all fresh and handsome in his light coloured shorts and white t-shirt.

"Morning peaches." I roll my eyes at him.

"Ugh, really, don't call me that." He just smiles in response.

"What is all this?" I indicate the bicycles beside him.

"I told you I wanted to take you somewhere today. I thought we could explore the island by riding around. What do you say?"

I say that it's a sweet idea even if I don't actually say the words out loud. I look down at my attire, I have on denim shorts and a tank top. It will do.

"Let me just put my sports shoes on and we're good to go."

Back inside I let Kate now where I'm off to as I'm tying my laces, she tells me to have fun but not too much fun as I head back out.

"Okay rock star, let's do this."

"There are worse things you can call me." He shrugs his shoulders and hops on his bike.

I grab the smaller bike of the two, climb on and ride off. I follow the natural dirt path that cuts between the surrounding trees and greenery, passing bright red hibiscus flowers on our way. I can't hear anything behind me so I stop and look back to see Christian struggling to stay balanced a small distance away, fumbling around. I bite my lip to stop a laugh coming out.

"Do you not know how to ride a bike? Do you need me to show you how it's done?" He looks comical and at the same time kind of cute with his look of determination.

"Shut it, the last time I did this I was twelve."

Eventually he gets the hang of it and takes me over, whooping loudly as he rides past.

"Eat my dust, Steele."

Somehow it turns into a race, each of us taking turns leading the other, okay so most of the time Christian is in front but that's only because his legs are stronger and can go faster. We end up riding through the rainforest, up the hill stopping at the top, the large white sign letting us know we've reached Mount Ford. I can see the entire island from up here, it's magnificent, the water appearing so dark and blue from this vantage point. I kick the stand on my bike down and walk over to the rocky edge taking a seat on the ledge, the stone has been warmed from the sun. I take a deep breathe in and out allowing any anxiety to leave me.

Christian's bike has what appears to be a small cooler bag attached to the back of it, he reaches in and pulls out two bottles of cold water before joining me.

"Thank you." I take a large drink refreshing myself. I can already feel the sticky heat of the day.

We sit next to each other silently, taking in the view.

"Wow. It's beautiful up here. Thank you for showing me this." I can't believe how tiny this island actually is looking at it from up high. It feels so insignificant t compared to the rest of the world, like a speck in the ocean that can easily become lost. I bet it's not even a little dot on any maps.

"Can I ask you something?" He interrupts my musings.

"Sure."

"You know I'm adopted right?"

"Yes, Mia has mentioned it." I don't the how or why though.

"I love my aunt and uncle, they have been my parents in every way, I call them mom and dad and I appreciate everything they have done for me but there are days I wonder if I would be where I am today if my mother didn't die. If I would have become someone else entirely."

"How old were you when she passed away?"

"I understand what your loss feels like, I was five when I lost my mother, I still miss her so much. Some days I forget what she even looked like so I need to pull out her photograph to remind myself."

I can feel my heart aching for that little boy he once was.

"What was her name?"

"Ella, she was Carrick's younger sister. She ran away when she was pregnant with me and my so called father, which I refer to as my sperm donor left us not long after I was born."

"Can I ask how she died?"

"Pneumonia, I remember her being very sick and not being able to help her. She didn't have the money to afford antibiotics and she didn't reach out for help either. I don't know why she didn't do that, I know Carrick would have helped us if he knew where we were and in trouble."

"I'm sorry." I can't imagine what it must have been like for him, a small frightened child, not being able to do anything, not knowing what to do. I understand that feeling of helplessness all too well.

Death and loss is a funny thing. It affects people in different ways, we always carry it around with us, no matter if we have a smile on our face or out enjoying ourselves, there is always that small piece of us that's missing, that's yearning for what we can't have back.

"The day I hit you with my car my father called me, he had received a letter for me from my biological father, it was delivered by his lawyers in New York, I assume that's where he's now living. Anyway my question is, if you were me what would you do? Would you open that letter and read it or just forget about it and get on with your life. I can't talk to my family about this, they're too close, I don't want to hurt anyone and I need an honest opinion from someone."

"Aren't you curious what he has to say? Or why he waited so long?"

"Curious, no."

"What then?" There's something he's struggling with.

"Afraid. I'm afraid that whatever he's written won't make me hate him so much anymore when I've spent my whole life with nothing but animosity towards him."

"I think I would read it, I would want to know exactly why I wasn't enough to make them stick around, then burn it and move on. You don't have to get in contact with him if that's not what you want, you have a family who loves you, but in the very least you'll have an answer to your questions and even if it makes you less angry towards him, is that really such a bad thing. After Andrew passed away my parents made me see a therapist and they kept telling me holding on to anger is not healthy so I'm telling you the same thing. "

He sits there in thought staring at his feet, I'm not sure if he's taken anything I said on board. Eventually he looks up at me.

"You know, you can be kind of sweet when you want to be."

"Don't get used to it jerk face." I nudge him in the ribs with my elbow.

"I love it when you're mean to me."

He pulls me with his arm around my neck closer to him and kisses me.

"Come on, let's start heading back."

XXXXX

We're on our way back home on Christian's private plane. It's so luxurious and spacious, this is how I want to travel everywhere from now on. I'm glad Kate brought me along with her and that Mia conspired to get me on this trip. I had fun, and for the first time I didn't feel guilty for enjoying myself. The resort put on a traditional Fijian luau where I tried kava, it looked like brown water and was one of the most disgusting things I have ever put in my mouth. Christina drank a little too much and was complaining of feeling sleepy and a numb tongue. Kate and Mia and I hung out on the beach while Christian was busy working, those two bonded so fast over cocktails and their love of Outlander. I still haven't watched a single episode much to Mia's disappointment. I found myself looking forward to the time spent with Christian, even though we didn't do much else but talk and the usual water activities around the island such as snorkelling and taking boats out he made each moment feel special.

Staring out at the clouds through my small window I have a million thoughts circling my mind. What happens when we get back? We need to talk about what this is, what he's expecting from me, I need to take it slow I'm not able to jump into a serious relationship immediately. If I'm to put my heart on the line I need to do it carefully. At least I'm willing to take the chance, that's a big step from where I was six months ago.

"I suppose I should thank you." I tell Mia who is seated next to me reading.

"Why?" She puts her book down, looking over at me curiously.

"I let him in a little, it wasn't so bad." I admit.

She squeals in my ear.

"Can I trust him?" I'm still worried that I'm going to regret this, that something will happen to show me I don't deserve anything that makes me happy.

She can see the fear and pleading in my eyes. She takes hold of my hand, gripping it tightly and smiling at me.

"He won't hurt you, at least not intentionally."

I nod. I know there are no guarantees in life better than anyone. I'm just going to have to trust my heart here and it's telling me this can be something special.

XXXXX

Saturday night I'm halfway through dinner with Luke and his parents at Spinasse restaurant, their pasta is incredible and the best I've ever eaten. I've always had a love of Italian food, I mean who doesn't like pizza.

"How are your parents, Ana, I haven't spoken to your mother in a couple of months." Mrs Sawyer asks.

"They're fine thank you, keeping busy. She told me she joined a book club." I smile at her. What else can I say? They know what we've been through.

Luke's parents sold their house next to ours and moved a year ago when they both decided to retire. They wanted to be somewhere warmer and San Francisco is where they ended up. I've always had a soft spot for Luke's parents, they're loud but loving, his mother was a school teacher and his father a mechanic, they constantly bicker but at the same time are affectionate with one another. Luke is an only child and spoilt rotten, I bet his mother is doing weeks of laundry for him now that she's here. He's the carbon copy of his father, with the dark hair, face shape and height except he has his mother's green eyes. I've missed them. In the weeks after the accident and Andrew's death they were a rock for our family to lean on. They were there every day, even something as simple as cooking a meal or preparing a cup of tea was invaluable to us in those dark days.

Surrounded by the noise of the restaurant, cutlery hitting plates, conversations of the tables around us I sit back and take in the warm, friendly atmosphere, the happiness shining from their eyes. They make me feel a part of their family, this is what I should be doing with my own parents, out enjoying a meal together, not each one of us miserable and on our own. It sucks big time but I doubt the reality will change any time soon no matter how much I wish it to.

"How long are you staying?" I ask.

They tell me they're heading back home on Monday night and talk turns to how Luke and the café are doing. They should be really proud of him, his business is going great, it's constantly busy with people coming back again and again. I personally think some of the females keep returning to perve on him.

"He makes the best coffee and I'm not just saying that."

"It's true, Ana is one of the biggest coffee snobs I know, if she doesn't like it she will refuse to drink it."

Luke leans over to quietly ask without his parents overhearing.

"Is everything okay, you seem lost in thought and not as talkative as usual?"

I put on a fake smile.

"I'm fine, just had a long day. Probably a bit of jet lag."

It's a lie. I'm not fine.

I don't tell him that since yesterday I'm hurting and that I've been avoiding Christian's calls all day.

I blink away the tears that are trying to fall and pick up my glass of wine. I'm going to need a lot more wine when I get back home tonight.

 **Christian**

I can't believe how well things went in Fiji, I think I need to send Mia some flowers to say thank you for meddling. Ana and I spent some time together talking and exploring the island, I saw a softer side to her, the side she hides from the world. She still gave me attitude with that smart mouth of hers very now and then but I think that's one of the things I like about her, she's not afraid to speak her mind.

When she told me about her brother I was shocked and saddened and somehow wishing I could take her pain away. But I can't. I learnt the hard way there's nothing anyone can do to help, you just need to deal with it in your own time. It got me thinking about my own family. Thinking about the letter that I have still not made a decision about reading or not. I listened to what Ana had to say, she made some valid points, perhaps I just need some more time. _It's only been thirty years, what are a few more weeks._ She's right about me having a loving family. Without family what do we truly have, it makes me appreciate them even more, how lucky I am to be loved and cared for. Elliot will be home soon. I can't wait to see him, hang out with him, just have him around without the worry of him disappearing to dangers unknown. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us, all we have is today and what we decide to do with it. I think my mission just became to give Anastasia Steele something to smile about each day.

I haven't had a chance to see or speak to Ana since we got back to Seattle, we all left a day earlier than planned due to an incoming storm however my business there was accomplished and it was fortunate we got the weather warning otherwise we would have been stuck there for a few days longer. I've been busy catching up with work and finalising the details for the convention that's coming up.

There's a knock on my office door, I glance up to see Taylor entering looking frustrated.

"Sir, Lilly is downstairs in reception wanting to see you. She's kind of demanding it actually. What would you like me to do?"

"Bring her up." I let out a breath.

Why can't she get the hint? I need to deal with this once and for all.

Three minutes later Taylor leads her into my office before leaving us.

"What is it, Lilly? What do you want? I'm getting fed up with this." I stand behind my desk watching her as she stops halfway across the room. She doesn't appear as polished and put together as she normally does, in fact she looks tired and worried. I don't recall ever seeing her in sweats and a t-shirt as she's wearing now, with her hair in a high ponytail.

"I know it's over between us, I get that, that's not why I'm here, why I want to talk to you. It's about my father." She wrings her hands in front of her.

Her father runs his own accounting firm, he's one of those people who are easy to get along with and he has always be kind to me even after I broke things off with his daughter. Once a year his company holds a fundraiser to raise money for a charity who works with homeless youth. He is just an all-around nice guy.

"What about him?"

"I need your help, please, my father is sick, he's been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Every week he gets worse, nothing is helping but I've been doing some research and I found this neurosurgeon in LA who has been having great results with the condition following surgery. I need him to see this doctor however I can't get an appointment, I've been told he's not taking any new patients for the next six months, I'm desperate, Christian otherwise I wouldn't be here, I don't know who else to turn to. His doctors are no help, I was wondering if you could ask your mother if she knows this surgeon, if it's possible to get him to see us as a favour somehow."

She starts to cry there where she stands, covering her face with her hands.

Despite the way things ended, she's not a bad person, and if I can help her family in any way, I can at least try, even if it's making a simple phone call, that's something.

I walk across to her, place my arm around her shoulders and lead her to one of the chairs, helping her sit in it, I kneel before her and place my hand on her knee, getting her attention.

"I'm sorry to hear about your father. Okay, I will call her, I'll ask her to give you a call, to find out exactly what the situation is and find out if she can help in any way. She may know of other surgeons or treatments you can try."

I lean over my desk to grab a couple of tissues for her to clean up her face. She stands up taking them out of my hand and wiping her eyes.

"Oh thank you, Christian. You have no idea what this means to me and my family." Before I can stop her she launches herself at me, hugging me tightly.

"Don't mention it."

"Thanks again." She kisses me on the cheek in gratitude.

I hear my office door open then Ana comes walking in unannounced and smiling, she must have come from the gym, she's in tights and a sleeveless flowing bright yellow top, her hair a mess but still beautiful.

Her smile slips, I watch as sadness fills her eyes, turning into disappointment as she takes in the scene in front of her.

"I'm sorry, your assistant wasn't at her desk. I was just bringing you some of Laura's cookies." Her voice waivers.

With no further eye contact she places the tin down on the glass conference table in my office and walks out.

 _FUCK!_

I push Lilly away and go after her.

"Ana, stop! Wait!" I call out striding past Andrea's empty desk. Where the hell is she?

 _God dammit._

I'm too late, she's already gone. I can see the numbers on the elevator descending. I press the button to call the next one along.

Fuck. This is bad. This is really fucking bad.

 **A/N: Next chapter we have an argument and Elliot comes home. Thank you for reading and for your lovely reviews. I appreciate your patience in me getting this chapter to you.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Christian**

By the time I reached the lobby I lost her, I stepped out onto the sidewalk, looking up and down in both directions but there was no sign of her. Shit! Talk about lousy timing. I just know she's thinking the worst about what she thinks she saw. I raced straight back to my office to call her since I left my phone on my desk, Andrea was back behind hers when I reached my floor, apparently she had to use the bathroom. _Next time hold it._ Lilly was leaving and apologetic, not meaning to cause any trouble. I assured her she had nothing to apologise for, it was a case of bad-timing and misunderstanding.

Saturday I must have called her about a fucking dozen times, each time it went to her voicemail I got madder. I didn't bother leaving her a message. She needs to talk to me, I'm not going to let her take the cowards way out by avoiding me.

By Sunday afternoon I'm pissed off, I've given her enough time to herself to over analyse what she thinks but she's not keeping me at arm's length today. I pull up in front of her apartment, practically stomping to her door from frustration and anger. I knock and call out her name but get no response. I bang on the door again waiting, but still hear nothing. I'm about to turn around and leave when I hear her voice yell from inside. Is she in trouble?

"Ana!"

I try the door handle and find it unlocked, I open and push the door open, stepping inside and calling out for her again. I find her in the kitchen, her back is to me, she has earphones in and is dancing around in her pyjamas, I would laugh if I wasn't so mad at her. I yell once more to get her attention and still nothing. I do the only thing I can and walk up behind her, tapping her on the shoulder.

She screams and swiftly turns around, with a large sharp knife in her right hand which slices across the bare skin of my forearm cutting me.

"Oh my god, what the fuck are you doing, you scared the crap out of me." She shoves me against my chest with her empty hand as she yells and removes her ear buds.

"I'm sorry, I was calling your name but you obviously didn't hear me. I was outside your door when I heard you scream, I thought something was wrong but obviously it was your singing."

"You're an asshole."

She looks at my arm which is bleeding.

"I'll get you a band-aid, don't bleed on my floor."

She places the knife down on the bench beside the watermelon she was cutting up and heads towards the bathroom. I stay standing where I am until she returns less than a minute later, she cleans my arm with a disinfectant wipe before placing the band-aid on.

She takes two steps back, discarding the wipe and wrapper looking anywhere but at me.

"Why are you here?" She finally asks.

"Because we need to talk." I thought it was obvious.

"No we don't." She finally looks at me with a frown.

"Yes, we do. I didn't do anything wrong, you walked into my office, saw something, jumped to conclusions and then ran off ignoring my phone calls for a whole day. What the hell is that shit, Ana? The least you can do is listen and allow me to explain."

"You don't owe me anything, you're free to do whatever you want." She snaps back at me defensively.

"Really, that's what you're going with. Why are you lying to yourself, I saw the pain in your eyes when you thought I was in there behind your back with another female."

"Ha, if that's what you want to think, that I was upset, then go ahead."

She is so fucking stubborn.

I pick her up and place her ass on the bench so we're eye level and step towards her.

"Get away from me." She swats at my hands.

"You're angry at the world, I get that, you want to blame me for something totally innocent so you don't have to feel anything, to not take a chance in life, then that's your problem. I won't be your punching bag. I thought we were making progress in Fiji, that this was the start of something but I'm not going to sit back and take your bullshit whenever you decide to act like a child."

"How dare you?" Her nostrils flare in anger. Good, at least it's a reaction.

"You're too proud to ask what you walked into, you're afraid and you can't admit it, that you might have been wrong. Lilly came to me for help, it was a thank you hug that you saw, nothing more, nothing less, grow up, Ana and stop pushing me and others away, because you might find one day that we won't be coming back next time."

She crosses her arms over her stomach, trying to protect herself.

"You think I'm afraid?" Her lips trembles slightly.

"I know you're scared, shit half the world out there is afraid of something but you are standing in the way of your own happiness. That's exactly why you're terrified, I could make you happy and you know being happy is the most terrifying thing in the universe because once you're happy it can be taken away from you." My breath is coming out in angry puffs.

"You don't know what you're talking about. There is nothing for me to fear."

"You're lying to yourself. You have your walls up so high no one can get over them. If you want to keep doing this one step forward, two steps back dance then I think I'm done trying to prove I'm not the enemy here."

"Are you done?" She shakes her head at me before breaking eye contact.

I stand staring at her, waiting for her to say something, to give me some sort of indication to what she is thinking but she just sits there in silence with her eyes glued to her kitchen floor.

"Yeah I'm done."

I turn away from her, ready to leave her apartment. I never anticipated this going the way it did. Am I giving up so easily? I don't know, but I know I need to get out of here before I say something else I will regret. When I get to the door and reach for the handle I hear her quietly say "Wait."

I hesitate. Do I stay or continue on my way out?

I sense her walking up to me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Christian."

I release the door and turn around to face her. She looks so dejected she starts crying and mumbling "I'm sorry," over and over again falling into my chest.

 _Oh Ana._

I reach down to the back of her thighs, picking her up I walk us over to her couch sitting on it while she straddles me. I lift her head out from my neck and lean my forehead against her own.

"Hey, it's okay." I wipe her tears away while she sniffles trying to control her crying. Her hand plays with the collar of my shirt while we sit there together. I wait for her to say something whilst my hands run up and down her back soothing her.

"You were right about everything. I am scared and it's not fair that you suffer because of my past and insecurities. I should explain more clearly, you see I was seeing someone in college when my brother passed away, we had only been together for a few months, he cheated on me, saying it was because I wasn't around and not available to him, I caught them in his dorm when I went to visit him one weekend. Seeing you in your office like that just brought those awful memories up and I'm sorry, it was a sense of déjà vu that I let get into my head. You're nothing like him."

"He sounds like a dick." I move her head back to see into her bright tearful eyes.

She smiles at me.

"He is a dick. I'm so sorry, I know I have issues, I know I'm not easy to deal with at times, but in a short amount of time you've become important to me and I really am trying. Please don't give up on me."

She's hasn't stopped fiddling with the collar of my shirt while talking. I reach up and grab her hand with mine, kissing her knuckles and holding onto it.

"Look at me, I'm not giving up that easily, I want to date you, I like you and want to get to know you better, to know everything about you. We can take this at your pace, there's no rush, I have no problem with that but you have to talk to me, tell me what you need, when you feel uncertain or overwhelmed, you can't give up either. For this to work we need to communicate with each other."

"I can do that." She nods with a small smile.

"And no more running."

"No more running I promise."

Cupping her cheeks I kiss her, she takes hold of my neck deepening the kiss. She lets out a little moan which has my body reacting and hardening beneath her as she squirms over me. She breaks the kiss to peer into my eyes.

"Will you stay the night?" She nervously asks biting her lip.

"Yes." I answer taking that full lip in my own mouth.

XXXXX

I awake in Ana's bedroom very early the next morning, I reach for my phone only to find it dead. I have no idea what time it is however the sun is still rising. I spy her laptop on her desk in the corner of her room. I'm waiting for some merchandising contracts to come through so I hope she doesn't mind me using it.

I grab it and sit up in her bed as she sleeps beside me. She looks warm and soft and serene, coming over here yesterday turned out to be a good thing in the end. We both still have a lot to learn about each other, baby steps are better than no steps at all. I know her asking me to stay last night was a huge deal to her so I'm thankful for the small progress we made, that and her promise to no longer run which I plan to have her stick to. I laugh at myself, this tiny stubborn woman has me all tied up in knots and I'm enjoying it. I let her sleep and turn back to the screen.

I'm engrossed in the document I'm reading when I fell her stir, she turns over and opens her eyes, slightly smiling up at me.

"Hey." She utters grumpily and burrows back under the covers. _So not really a morning person then_.

"Morning."

A couple minutes later she pulls herself up to sit beside me.

"What are you doing, don't read that." She attempts to close the lid to hide her work.

I pull it out of her reach.

"Christian." She's getting agitated.

"My phone died and I needed to check my email. When I turned your laptop on this was on the screen. This is good, Ana. Are you going to publish it? You really should think about it."

"I don't know, maybe, that's the plan but who knows if I'll ever take that leap." She huffs and leans back.

"I know. Go for it."

"While I was studying my dream was to go into publishing, to help find authors and make their dreams come true, one day I had the idea for this story and finally got around to writing it, but I don't know if it's actually good enough. It's a silly children's story."

"So was Harry Potter and there is nothing silly about it. I've loved what I've read so far and it is good enough, don't doubt your talent so much, you don't want to be sitting there in ten years time wondering what if."

She cuddles up to me and I place the laptop on the floor.

"Thank you for saying that."

I pull the band aid off along with half the hair on my arm.

"Ouch, I can't believe you almost stabbed me."

She kisses my cut which has pretty much healed.

"I'm sorry for cutting you, but you shouldn't sneak up on me like that, it would have served you right and don't ever mock my singing again."

"Is that right Ms Tone Deaf, it sounded like you were being hurt."

She smacks me on the chest.

"Take that back."

"Never."

I grab her by the waist, throwing her down on the bed and attack her with kisses and tickles, she's yelling and laughing and begging me to stop. Her face is glowing with joy. Coming over here was definitely a good decision.

XXXXX

Mia and I are standing in arrivals at the airport on Wednesday afternoon waiting for Elliot to come out. We have been waiting for this day for so long. Our brother is coming home. This time for good. Mia is practically bouncing with excitement.

"Will he hurry up already." She complains. We've only been here for ten minutes however I understand her impatience.

"There he is." I point him out when I spot him.

My brother appears in the crowd in his white dress uniform and duffel bag. Mia rushes up to him, attacking him with her hug.

"Hey, Mia. Did you miss me or something?" She's crying into his shoulder.

"Shut up jerk, you know I did."

I walk up to them and join in on their group hug holding back my own tears.

"It's good to have you home bro. Let's get out of here, mom and dad are waiting at the house."

"Dude I seriously need a cheeseburger, I'm starving."

"I think I can help you out."

After stopping to grab his burger we get to Bellevue where there are lots more tears and hugs from my parents, mom prepared a full on roast for dinner in celebration and the five of us sat around the dining table talking, joking and laughing. It was like the family dinners we used to have a lifetime ago. Mom kept staring and El as if he was going to disappear from right in front of her.

"Oh honey, I am so pleased to have you back. Do you have any laundry?"

We all start laughing. She hasn't asked Mia or I that question in years.

Later on El and I are at the bar having a beer in a quiet corner booth. I can't believe I'm actually out having a beer with my brother, something I haven't done in so long. We can also talk about things we wouldn't if the rest of the family was around.

"So what's the plan now you're home?" I ask taking a sip of my beer.

"Just relax for a couple of weeks, sleep in, I'll need to find an apartment eventually but I know mom is going to want to spoil me for the foreseeable future. Then think about getting a job, I mean they've offered me an office job in one of the departments but I haven't decided if I want to take it yet or do something completely different."

"You know you can always come work for me. I would love to have you on board."

"Thanks for the offer but I'm not sure I would be much help over there. Anyway don't forget, you promised me Vegas. I need to get laid."

"Absolutely. How does in a couple of weeks sound?"

"Perfect. So tell me, are you seeing anyone?" He raises his eyebrows up and down at me.

"There is someone, one of Mia's friends."

"Again, because Lilly turned out so great."

"No, she's different El, she's stubborn, feisty, has a temper on her and tells me off but also beautiful and I don't know, I've never met anyone like her before."

"Well look at you, spewing romantic shit and all that."

"Fuck off." I flip him the finger and continue drinking. Good thing I have Taylor nearby because there's no way I'm leaving here sober.

XXXXX

Sunday afternoon my parents held a large party for Elliot's homecoming. Relatives and friends we hadn't seen in a long time showed up to greet him. The house was decorated with so many flowers I was afraid my mother bought out every florist in the neighbourhood, a large welcome home banner hung in the foyer and the kitchen was filled with caterers preparing food. Most of the guests were standing out in the back yard but not me. Mia was picking up Ana on her way over and they are due to arrive any minute. My mom finds me in the foyer watching out the window.

"Waiting for someone dear?"

"No, yes…not really."

She laughs.

"Oh honey, I'm just teasing. Don't worry, Mia will be here soon enough and so will Ana."

She walks away chuckling. Great, my mother is now teasing me over a girl. When did this become my life?

They must have arrived as my mother was speaking to me because I hear their voices as the front door opens.

'Hi, baby." I kiss Ana.

"Hi, yourself."

She looks gorgeous in her white sundress with her hair in a French braid.

"I'm here too." Mia announces.

"Hi, Mia. Bye, Mia."

I pull Ana by the hand leaving my sister behind to follow as I lead us outside. I find my brother standing around talking with one of our neighbours holding a bottle of beer. I stop next to him.

"Sorry to interrupt, El, this is Ana. Ana our older brother Elliot."

"Hi, Ana, nice to meet you." He extends his hand out which she shakes.

"I'm so pleased to finally meet you. I've heard a lot of stories."

"They're not true. You look familiar." He drops her hand giving her a strange look.

"Oh, you've probably seen my photos on Mia's Instagram. We were roommates in college."

"Yeah, that must be it." He responds, appearing deep in thought.

As the party dies down later in the afternoon, there are only a handful of people left hanging around. It was a good day, El caught up with a lot of his friends, everybody seemed to enjoy themselves and Ana met half my family who all had a million questions, poor thing needed rescuing a few times by my mother.

I walk into the kitchen to grab some water where I find my mother standing in front of the sink, staring out the window into the yard. I step beside her, place my arm around her shoulder and see that she was looking at Elliot, who's talking to both Mia and Ana, all three laughing about something.

"I've been waiting for this day for a long time." She voices softly, afraid he'll leave once more.

"I know, mom. He's home." I kiss her on the head.

"He looks good, happy. I hope he found whatever he was looking for out there."

Before joining the navy Elliot was lost and hurting and went on a bender that lasted for months. My parents were worried and unable to help him, no amount of talking did any good, until one day he made his decision, advised us he was leaving and was shipped off.

"You seem pretty happy too. I wonder why that is?" She teases.

"Mom…"

"Don't mom me, she really is lovely and we all know and adore her. You both deserve to be happy, that's all I'm saying." With a pat to my cheek she leaves to join the others outside.

Mia had a bit too much to drink so I'm driving Ana home. She yawns as she leans back in her seat, closing her eyes.

"Tired?"

"A little."

"Did you have fun today? I'm sorry if my extended family came across as crazy." I lost count of how many of the older women there asked her who's girlfriend she was and when she's getting married.

"I had a great time and they were fine, isn't that what family get togethers are supposed to be like. Your brother is great, he sure can make everyone laugh easily, Mia never told me he was the better looking one."

We've reached her apartment and I pull over. Her eyes bright with glee from her joke.

"Watch it." I growl before leaning over and taking her lips with mine in a rough kiss.

"I'm joking, but he seems great, I'm happy you're happy to have him home. Go, make some memories with him. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Not long before leaving from my parent's house El pretty much invited himself over to play pool. I couldn't say no, seeing as he played the guilt card of not having played in years, but I really don't mind. Taylor is driving him over and he'll probably crash at my place.

"Goodnight."

One more kiss and I watch as she climbs out of my car and into her building. Yeah, I was right, she is pretty special and I need to take her on a proper first date.

 **A/N: Next chapter we have a date and Grace tells Christian some news he never would have expected to hear in a million years.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi all, I apologise for the delay in getting this chapter to you but real life has been hectic. A couple of things, if you haven't read the one shot I posted Room 805, check it out, if you did and were one of the people asking for more, I may be able to give you another chapter once I figure out where to take it.**

 **Also I'm heading on vacation until mid August so there won't be any updates for the next six weeks however I will try to continue writing when/if I have the time so you're not waiting too long when I return.**

 **Thank you for all your support and lovely reviews. Until then Laters.**

 **Chapter 12**

 **Ana**

This past week has flown by, work has been keeping me busy while I try to find some time to write in the evenings, I've called my parents to check up on them where unfortunately the conversations left me feeling down, I could hear the unhappiness in their voices, they're frustrating me and it's time I got them to stop being so stubborn and fix things. Both Mia and Christian have been so happy to have Elliot home they mention him at least three times a day, it's great and funny to see their dynamic when all three of them are together, they really care for each other and being around them makes me miss Drew even more. He would definitely get a kick out of Elliot's jokes.

The other day when Christian showed up at my apartment and laid some home truths on me it sucked, because he was right but I didn't want him to be right, I wanted to continue in my bubble of sorrow and denial where it was safe, then as he was walking away I saw any chance of a happy future walking away with him and I had to stop him from leaving. I watched him as he slept in my bed, my heart did this squeezing thing it had never done before and all I could think was he's so kind and sweet and I have no idea what he sees in me to put up with my crazy ass but he's still here. _Don't screw this up Ana, you won't find another one like him_.

He's been busy with work this week staying late at the office, I brought dinner over to him on Wednesday night in order to get him to take a break and eat as he was working back again. It was nothing special just some home-made spaghetti but he insisted it was the best he'd ever had. He's a liar but a cute one so I let it slide. I sat there in his office as he worked and told me about the gaming convention which is coming up very soon, he's so excited about it, I love seeing his passion for something that means so much to him.

Early Sunday morning Christian is driving us out of the city. The only thing he told me was to dress comfortably, so here I am in jeans, converse and white t-shirt for our early morning date. I barely had time to finish my coffee before he was knocking on my door.

The sound of Ed Sheeran singing about bloodstreams is playing through the car speakers, I hum along as I wonder what he's planned for us.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"It's a surprise. You'll find our soon enough." He grins.

I huff and turn to look at the speeding scenery out my window.

"This is something I used to love doing as a teenager, I haven't been back here in years. It will be fun." He continues.

I smile over the fact he's sharing a part of his past with me. I can be patient then I suppose.

We're surrounded by tall trees as he slows down and eventually turns off the road past a massive sign screaming Bellevue Zip Tour.

"Ziplining?"

"Yep."

"Oh my gosh." I bounce in my seat.

"Ever been?"

"No, but I've always wanted to try it."

We check in and have to sit and listen through the safety talk first before we're allowed out on the course, I'm just eager to get out there. We finally get geared out with harnesses and bright orange helmets then we're climbing up a large wooden ladder to a platform up in the trees and getting hooked up to the lines. Holy crap we're so high up. I never thought I had a fear of heights but being up in the trees is scary. I don't want to look down and I have a death grip on my rope just in case. Christian is close behind me that when I take a step back from the edge I bump into him and jump in fear.

"We're so high up." I state the obvious.

A large black bird flies across scaring the crap out of me and causing me to yell out.

"It's just a little bird scaredy cat." He laughs at me.

"I hope it comes back and shits on you." I turn and glare at him.

"They say it's good luck." He shrugs his shoulders without a care.

I grip my rope tightly and let out a deep breath.

"I don't think I can do this."

"Yes you can. I'm right here next to you." His line runs parallel to mine so we can go at the same time.

"If I fall to my death you need to make sure Mia gets my black leather jacket, she's always loved it and don't let anyone read my journal." _Great time to be making your last wishes known Ana._

"You will be fine, peaches." He gives me a kiss, a smack to the ass and pushes me off.

I scream at the initial jolt and feel of falling but then I'm flying, speeding along the path up in the sky, it's exhilarating and I feel free, like nothing can bother me way up here, it's such a thrilling feeling and it's so much fun, not to mention the breathtaking views around me. I turn my head over to my left and see Christina beside me with a big grin as he flies through the air. He reaches a hand over to me.

"See, it's not so scary." He yells.

I begin to slow down and reach the platform on the other end. My heart is racing from the adrenaline rush and I can't keep still. When Christian lands I jump on him laughing once he's steady on his feet.

"Oh my God, that was so awesome, let's do it again."

"Okay, but first."

He pulls out his cell phone and takes a selfie of the two of us. We look ridiculous in the helmets but my eyes are sparkling and I look happy and it's all due to him. I turn and kiss him holding onto his face. How was I lucky enough to find him? Oh I know, he ran me over. I giggle at the thought.

"Thank you for bringing me here to today."

"You're very welcome." He kisses me once more before climbing down. "Come on, the next run is even higher."

"WHAT?" He's joking right?

We take another two runs, which were not higher up thank goodness before heading out for lunch at a nearby café with massive burgers full of sauce and large milkshakes. I don't think I have ever gone through so many napkins while eating and Christian was just as bad. We couldn't stop laughing throughout our meal. Today has really been an incredible and memorable day.

In the afternoon as we head back home for some reason we end up stopped in the middle of the deserted car park of Grey House. It's so eerily quiet with the buzzing and flashing of the florescent lighting.

"What are we doing? Do you need to do something for work?"

"Just humour me okay."

He gets out of the car, walks around to help me out as well, takes my hand and then leads me over to the driver's side guiding me into the seat before shutting the door. _What the hell_?

I watch him walk back around, once he climbs into the passenger seat he cautiously turns towards me.

"Why have we swapped?"

"You're going to drive."

I start to shake my head. No, I can't do this, images of the crash begin to flash in my mind. With those four words _you're going to drive_ my entire body stiffens.

"Christian, please don't make me do this." I say softly, pleading. I just can't.

"Look at me."

He cradles my face in his warm hands, his eyes showing compassion as they bore into my scared ones.

I begin to shake with panic setting in quickly.

"I don't want this to ruin the great day we've had so far and I'm not going to force you to do this if you really don't want to, but are you not ever going to drive again, what about the future, what about if you ever have kids, are you never going to drive them around, what are you going to do? You know this is something you need to overcome to keep moving forward."

"Marry a rich husband with a chauffeur." I joke even though he has a point.

"Be serious, Ana. Just give it a shot and try."

 _Try. Easy for him to say._

"You can't stay afraid forever, I brought you here because no one is around, you're safe. I won't let anything happen. Just start the car, you don't have to do anything else. Just start it."

I move back and lean against the seat turning the key, I feel the vibration through my seat. Okay, the car is on. He's right of course, I do need to be able to move past this.

"Good, when you're ready you know what to do next. There's a foot brake on the left hand side." He gently guides me, not rushing me.

After a minute of just sitting there I swallow down my nerves and put the car in drive, I lift my foot off the brake and feel us roll forward slowly, my grip tight on the steering wheel, I travel about ten metres before stopping. With shaky hands I put it back in park and shift in the seat.

"I appreciate you trying to help me, I know you only want to help, but I…I'm not quite there yet. Baby steps? Maybe we can try again later perhaps once I've had more time to prepare myself."

"Okay, you just need to talk to me. Whenever you want to try again just tell me. I'm sorry for just springing this on you I thought it seemed like a good idea."

I lean over the console and awkwardly hug him to me. His arms wrap around my waist.

"It was a good idea." I assure him. Had we been on a road I would certainly have freaked out even more.

"Let me take you home. The fact you rolled my car with stalling it is pretty impressive though."

I laugh at him and like that the tension starts to disappear. As he gets back behind the wheel I stare at him the entire drive back taking note of his strong jaw, straight nose, pink lips, five o'clock shadow growth, the scent of his cologne and of course my body naturally reacts to his proximity, aware the many ways it can make it feel pleasure, I shift and press my thighs together in the seat.

"Stop staring."

"No, I don't think so."

"It's distracting."

"I can sing instead if you like."

"Nope, keep staring."

We're both grinning like idiots when he pulls up outside my building, parks the car and turns to me. He reaches for my face, brings it closer to his own and begins to kiss me deeply, our tongues dancing together, a type of kiss that would make me weak in the knees if I wasn't already seated, our tongues.

"Thank you again for today. I had fun." I say when we finally break free.

"So did I." He smiles.

"Are you coming in?"

"Absolutely." He replies without hesitation.

Walking into the apartment building hand in hand we encounter Laura and Buddy heading out.

"Well look at the two of you." She grins as if she knows something we don't.

"Hi, Laura."

"Ma'am."

"You two lovebirds keep it down now. Last time poor Buddy kept barking at the door thinking someone was in trouble." She winks as she walks away.

I feel my face redden and burn with embarrassment while Christian lets out a loud belly laugh. Oh God, I can never face her again.

 **Christian**

I'm in my office reading over some profit reports accounting has sent over when Andrea buzzes to let me know my mother is here. I greet her with a kiss to the kiss as she steps in. She's dressed in jeans and a blouse which is very rare for my mother to be so causal so she obviously isn't headed anywhere else in the city.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just had lunch with Mia and stopped by to see you, are you busy?"

"Always."

We take a seat on the white leather lounge and chat briefly about Lilly and her father's treatment. I should make time to pay him a visit.

"There was one other thing I needed to talk to you about." She gives me a fake smile to put me at ease I'm guessing.

She looks at me then away across the room then at her hands in her lap which are gripped tightly together. She's nervous. What does she have to be nervous about?

"Okay but from the way you're acting right now do I even want to know what it is?"

"Maybe not." Her smile changes from fake to sad to being non-existent. "There's no easy way for me say it so please just hear me out."

"Mom, you can tell me anything." I move closer to her and place my hand over hers.

"You know we love you and would do anything to make you and your siblings happy. I hope you can understand why we kept this from you."

"Kept what from me?" What is she talking about?

"When you were ten years old, your biological father came to Seattle, he wanted to see you. Your father and I weren't sure if that would be a good idea however we sat you down and asked you if you wanted to see or talk to him at all in the future, we didn't mention that he was in the city, I don't know if you remember that conversation at all. You got so angry, Christian, full of hate towards him, you started yelling at us, saying you didn't want to hear of it so we sent him away, he understood and stayed away until now. Over time we didn't know how to bring it up or if you even had any interest I knowing him, you never asked us any questions about him, so we kept quiet, but now that he's made contact with you, well things are different."

I sit back flabbergasted, shocked, angry, about a hundred emotions running through me fighting for dominance.

"You waited twenty years to tell me this." I hiss. My teeth are clenched in anger. I let go of her hand and move away.

"I'm sorry, I am but we did what we thought was best for you. Have you not been happy with us?"

Did she really ask me that?

"You think this is about having a happy life. You know I've been happy with you. No, this is about you keeping such a secret from me. An important one. You've lied to me for more than half my life, how could you? As far as I knew he abandoned my mother and I, now you tell me he came back." My voice rises with each word said.

I have no idea who the woman before me right now is. Growing up she and Carrick constantly and repeatedly instilled the value of honesty in us. _Hypocrites the both of them_.

"I understand you're upset but try to see it from our point of view, we were protecting you too."

"From what exactly? Having a relationship with my real father? How can I trust you?" I shake my head in disbelief. I can't sit still I stand and start to pace the room.

"You have a point however there is no way we can turn back the clock and do thing differently. Christian, you can be as mad as you want but at the end of the day we made a decision as your parents, I'm sorry we waited so long to tell you but you can't hate us for it. Please try to understand how difficult it's been for us too, questioning if we did the right thing." She appears devastated but I can't bring myself to care in this moment as tears fall down her cheeks.

"Don't hate you? And no I don't have to understand anything. You could have tried again, hell when I was 18 would have been a good time and let me decide for myself if I wanted to meet the man, now I've been blindsided by both sides. I think you should leave."

My head is pounding, there are so many thoughts running through my brain I feel as if it might explode. This is too much to process, I need to be alone.

"Very well, I'll go for now but we still need to talk, you can't shut us out. Just remember that I love you."

I watch her leave with her head down softly closing the door behind her. The woman who has been a mother to me since I was five years old, who took me in and held me while I cried out for my dead mother, who promised that everything would be okay and patched up my cuts and bruises, the woman who has knowingly lied to me for so fucking long. I have a surge of anger that runs through my body and the next thing I know I have pushed everything off my desk in a rage practically wrecking the place.

Storming out of my office I'm calling Taylor to bring the car around. I need to get out of here.

"Andrea I'm leaving. I won't be back today." I practically snap at her. "Get someone to clean my office." It's not her fault but unfortunately she's in my line of sight at this moment. I'll apologise to her tomorrow.

I've been in my home gym for the past hour taking my anger out on the punching bag, not that it's helping, I'm still angry and hurt and confused. Sweat is dripping off every inch of my skin, my fists are sore, my throat dry yet I continue to hit it over and over again, the same questions of how could they and what's in that letter running through my mind.

"Hey dude, take it easy, I'm sure the bag didn't do anything to you." I hear my brother's voice say.

"Did you know?" I turn on him, pointing at him with my gloved hand.

"Know what?" He frowns taking a step back.

I sit and collapse on the wall, leaning back on it removing my gloves and throwing them across the room.

"Mom told me my biological father showed up when I was ten."

I explain the whole conversation I had with her earlier today.

"Fuck, you're shitting me."

"I wish I was."

"Wow, so what are you going to do?"

"Nothing, something, I have no fucking clue. I feel betrayed by all of them. He may have been a selfish asshole but it wasn't up to them to lie to me for so long."

El leaves the gym to only returning carrying two beers. He hands me one and takes his spot next to me against the wall. We sit there in silence sipping our beers both lost in thought until my brother clears his throat, he's playing with the label of his beer, slowly peeling it off.

"Listen, this may not be the best time to bring it up but I want to go visit the cemetery, I haven't been for a while, I think it's time I went, will you come with me?" He doesn't look at me as he asks.

I place my arm around his shoulder, pulling him against me. He's had to deal with some tough shit too.

"Of course, whatever you need I'm here."

"Thanks man. I'm gonna head out, you good, do you need anything?"

All I can think is Ana, she'll probably be able to help me sort through the shit in my head. I should call her.

"No, I'm good man, you can go."

I watch him walk away once again so grateful we got him home in one piece and that he seems to be doing better. Me on the other hand, will I be able to forgive my parents for hiding this and lying to me for so long, probably, eventually, but I won't ever forget the initial feeling of betrayal that washed over me. Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated?

I get my ass off the floor, shower, dress and decide to head over to the Seattle Times offices to wait for Ana outside when she finishes work. I finally see her exiting with whom I assume is a colleague she's chatting to, she's dressed in her simple grey pants and black shirt but still manages to look amazing without even trying. She turns her head spying me at the curb resting against my car. She says her good byes and heads over to me with a large smile, which I notice slip as she gets closer, certain she can see the pain in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" She breathes the question onto my neck as her arms go around it.

"Everything." I tell her as I pull her close to me.

Forty five minutes later Ana and I are on my couch, me having spilled out the bomb my mother dropped on me to her. Her legs straddle my body while my fingers toy with the buttons of her shirt. Her fingers drag through my hair, back and forth comforting me. My body is tense over having to retell the story once more.

"Wow, I don't know what to say."

"I keep thinking, he came when I was ten, why didn't he come again when I was older or write to me before now. Where was he when my mom died? What did they actually tell him to make him stay away for the next twenty years? Twenty years, Ana."

"I don't know, only your parents and he can answer that question. Do you know his name?"

"Nicholas Harvey, it's on the back of the only photo my mother had of the three of us after I was born."

"Your parents are good people, they love you, and I think this situation has been hard on them too, it can't be easy keeping something this heavy for so long, perhaps they were afraid they were going to lose you."

"Don't make excuses for them, Anastasia."

I move her off my lap and stand up.

"I'm not making excuses for them but trying to understand it from their side. There is always more than one side to a story."

"Well I don't particularly want to."

"I think you should go and talk to them both, ask them exactly what it is you want to know."

"No. I'm too mad and you're supposed to be on my side here." I say a little more sharply than I intended to.

She lets out a deep sigh.

"I don't want to fight with you, Christian and there are no sides to pick here. This will only hurt your family in the long run if you can't see a way past it. It might be best if I go. Can Taylor take me home?" She stands up grabbing her bag off the coffee table where she left it.

I hang my head feeling like a jerk for making her want to leave, I'm the one who brought her here, unloaded all my crap on her wanting to hear her opinion and I act like a chid because I don't like what she has to say. I take her bag away from her, tossing it onto the couch and gathering her into my arms. I let put a deep breathe of relief when she hugs me back.

"I'm sorry, please stay. We can order in and watch a movie if you want, I just want to forget the last few hours." I think she's going to argue but only nods in agreement.

"Okay, but I'm picking the movie." She raises an eyebrow at me.

"As long as it doesn't have Ryan Gosling in it I'm good."

"Not making any promises."

She heads away from me towards the cinema room and my eyes follow her ass. I'm falling fast and deep for this girl even though she drives me mad sometimes however she's right, I don't want to hurt and tear apart the only family I have ever known. I need to find a way to be able to move forward without being angry and to understand, starting with reading that damn letter.

 **A/N: Let me know what you thought. Who does Elliot want to visit at the cemetery? Don't think it's what any of you would expect. Next chapter the gang will be heading to Vegas. What trouble could they get into?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **Christian**

Ana has gone to bed as it was getting late and we're heading off to Vegas in the morning as I promised Elliot this weekend away. I should get some sleep myself but can't turn my brain off. Ever since the conversation with my mother last week all I seem able to think about is this situation with my parents and the damn letter that has been burning a hole in my desk drawer. I'm both curious and afraid to see what it holds inside but know that I'll drive myself crazy not knowing either.

I grab a bottle of beer out of the fridge then walk through my dark apartment to my home office, sit behind my desk, open the drawer and stare at my name written on the envelope. After two long minutes and gulping down half the bottle I pick it up, open the envelope and pull out the folded piece of paper within. I take a deep breath in and begin to read.

 _My Dearest Son Christian,_

 _I honestly don't know how to begin this letter which I have attempted to write so many times, so I will start with an apology. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being there for you and your mother. I'm sorry for letting you down and believing I had abandoned you both, which could not be further from the truth. I loved your mother and you with everything in me. We were young and ran away, dreaming of a wonderful life we would have together, however that's not how things were, we needed money, I was working odd jobs but it wasn't enough, not to give you the life that you deserved, that you both deserved, so I went home to my parents to ask them for help to beg if necessary. I didn't tell your mother where I was going that morning because she would have talked me out of it. Me heading back home was the biggest mistake of my life. My parents refused to even speak with me, according to them, I died the day I left with your mother they told me._

 _I should have come straight back home to you both, instead I went to a bar to drink my sorrows away and that's where my life went off the rails, you see I met up with some old school friends in that stupid bar who convinced me to rob a jewellery store with them, quick money they assured me. I was stupid and desperate, I admit that, all I could see was the cash I could take and bring back with me. Needless to say we were caught and arrested, I spent 6 years in prison for my crime. I missed you and Ella every single day. I missed on watching you grow and I missed the last moments of her life. I will always blame myself for her death by the simple fact I wasn't there to protect her and you. From my pride and embarrassment I never wrote to her to tell her what happened to me from jail, I let her think I left you both thinking one day I would be able to explain myself. When I finally got out she had died and you were living with your uncle and aunt. It broke my heart to know that she no longer walked this earth, that you were both gone from me._

 _A few years later I tried to see you once but you didn't want to talk to me, not that I blame you son but I respected your wishes and that of your parents and have stayed away until now._

 _I eventually got my life together, I moved to New York where I found work as an electrician and put myself through school to get my licence. I got married and have two other sons. You have two younger twin brothers who turned 18 not long ago, their names are Matthew and Daniel. They know all about you and would one day like to meet you._

 _I honestly didn't know if I was ever going to write this letter to you but life has a funny way of making these decisions for you. I have cancer, bowel cancer to be exact and the doctors have given me anywhere from 3 to 6 months but it's only a guess. My only wish in this world is to be able to see you my son. To hold you once more and tell you that even though I wasn't in your life that not a day went by that I didn't think of you or love you. I'm proud of you and all you have managed to achieve. I hope you give me the chance to tell you all this in person. I apologise if I have bombarded you with all of this information but I could not go to my grave without telling you the truth. I'm not asking for your forgiveness because I don't deserve it, merely a chance to talk._

 _The money I have asked Carrick to give you is from your grandparents estate, they left funds for all their grandchildren, I felt it was only fair you got your share. You can do with it as you please._

 _With Love, Dad_

 _Nicholas Harvey_

I'm numb. I sit there with the letter in my hands frozen. I feel a tear slip down my cheek and land on top of the page and yet I still don't move. There's a phone number written beneath his name, however my eyes are glued to his signature, we both write the 'y' at the end of our names in the same way.

What do I do, strong emotions are hitting me from all over the place, how am I supposed to feel here, I'm so confused, am I supposed to be angry, forgiving, I have absolutely no clue and I have more siblings out there, how do I process all this.

I do the only thing I can do in that moment and that's cry. For my mother, for the childhood I lost and the lives that were torn apart by the situation he placed everyone in.

 **Ana**

We landed in Vegas six hours ago and have spent the last two drinking. It ended up being six of us making the trip. Besides Christian, Elliot, Mia and I, he also invited Kate and Luke to join us and make up the group. They both jumped at the chance for a weekend away. I know this trip is mainly for Elliot however Christian inviting my friends to come along too was just a sweet gesture.

We're staying at the hotel that GEH has a stake in and it's magnificent. I have never seen something as luxurious as this before. It's all marble and glass and mirrors and the chandeliers are incredibly beautiful. Christian reserved three large suites on the same floor for us, the view from our own room is gorgeous, I can't wait to see it all lit up at night. This is my first time here and so far it's exactly what I was expecting. The people milling around, the sounds and yells from the casinos. The suite itself is perfect, everything appears so comfortable and inviting in here. I think I'm going to like Vegas.

I'm worried about Christian though. I stayed at his apartment last night as it was easier to head to the jet together from his apartment but he locked himself in his study after reading his father's letter, I have no idea what time he made it to bed and has barely said a word the entire morning. I can't push him to talk but whatever was written in there has clearly affected him. I've noticed him stare off into space and lose himself in thought on more than once occasion.

Until he's ready all I can do is take his mind off it and ensure we have fun tonight with everyone.

After dinner we hit up a karaoke bar within the hotel where he got up, forced more like it, to sing with Elliot to Bon Jovi. He has a great voice, I don't know why he was so hesitant and I may have taken video on my phone of it, I'm the one who can't carry a tune but here I am belting out Dancing Queen with Mia. I've got a happy buzz going on thanks to the alcohol in my system that I don't care how off tune we sound.

As we sing the last note to loud applause, we take a bow and then step off the stage where I make my way over to Christian. He's standing at the bar where he was watching our performance with a grin while knocking back another drink.

"Hey, all good over here?" I wrap my arms around his waist.

He leans down, kissing my bare shoulder and murmuring into my neck.

"You're so beautiful, do you know that. My dick is straining against my pants wanting to get into yours. Even though you can't sing to save your life."

"Okay there big boy, how many of these have you had?" I giggle taking his glass and placing it on the counter.

I grab his face lifting it up and making him look at me.

"You know what else? My parents are assholes. All three of them. Selfish jerks."

I let out a sigh and place my forehead against his.

"Well I'm sorry they're assholes but I don't want my boyfriend acting like one when we're trying to have a good time out for his brother. Plenty of time to be mad at them later on, come on Elliot is sitting there and keeps looking back checking on you."

Whatever is bothering him, will still be bothering him tomorrow and we can deal with it then but tonight is to let go and enjoy ourselves.

"Who's your boyfriend?" He quirks one eyebrow with a smug grin.

I realise this is the first time I have referred to him as such.

"You, you numb nut."

"I'm your boyfriend?"

"If you want to be or I can just go and hook up with one of those male dancers we saw walking through the lobby earlier."

I pretend to walk away when he grabs my elbow spinning me back around.

"Oh no, that job is mine, no one else could handle you."

He lays a kiss on me, the type of kiss that steals your breath. I wrap my arms around his neck, stand on my tippy toes and deepen the kiss, the taste of spirits and cocktails combining on our tongues as they fight for dominance.

"Hello girlfriend."

"Hello boyfriend."

We both have a stupid grin on our faces. No one knows what the future holds but here I am, taking a chance. Wait til my mother hears about this.

"You're right, tonight is about having fun. Let's head to another club where my ears won't bleed listening to Elliot singing."

 **Christian**

I wake up butt naked the following morning, I try to swallow but my throat aches, my mouth feels so extremely dry that I need water, God I feel like I'm dying, my head is pounding and spinning at the same time and I'm afraid to open my eyes.

I haven't been this hungover in ages, how much did I drink last night, I can't even recall coming back to the room.

I gently turn my head and slowly open one eye to see Ana sprawled on the bed beside me still in the blue dress she was wearing last night, her hair is all over the place. I lift my arm to rub my eyes and notice her underwear wrapped around my wrist. Did we have sex and I can't remember, what the hell did we do last night? Why would I be wearing her thong like that? I'll need to check in with Taylor later and figure out just what took place after we left to head off to that other bar.

I pull her panties off of me and drag myself up from the bed heading to the mini fridge to grab and devour an entire bottle of water then head to the bathroom for a quick shower. My stomach is roiling but I refuse to be sick, I hate the feeling you get after throwing up. Once I'm feeling half way human again, I step out of the shower, put a robe on and sit on the edge of the bed to wake Ana up. It's almost lunchtime, we need to eat and catch the jet back home in a little while.

I place a small kiss on her lips, and brush her hair off her face calling her name. She groans and turns away from me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not so crash hot. What about you?" She mumbles into the pillow. "I'm afraid to look in the mirror."

"I'll survive, I think." I reply.

She stretches her body then sits up. Realising she's still in her dress she pulls it off, throwing it to the floor then grabs the sheet to cover herself.

"I had fun last night. Thank you for this weekend but my feet are killing me, how much did we dance. How much did we drink, I lost count, my head still feels fuzzy."

I grab her foot, pulling it out from the covers and rub it.

"No idea. All I can say is thank God for Taylor, he probably made sure we got back here safely last night and you're welcome and El better have found someone to hook up with last night or I'll never hear the end of what a disaster this weekend was."

"Oh I don't think you need to worry about that. I saw him and Kate sneak out together for a little while."

"Is that so? I hope she…"

I stop talking as I watch Ana's face become pale, her hand covers her mouth as she darts off the bed and into the bathroom just in time.

"Ana!"

An hour later we're both dressed and heading to meet up with everyone else. I was kicked out of the bathroom while she was being sick, so I gave her a few minutes to herself then when she was in the shower she yelled out my name. I ran in thinking she needed help, instead she was pointing to her thigh where there were teeth marks.

 _"_ _What the hell is that? You bit me?"_

 _I walk up to her and run my finger along the indents._

 _"_ _I must have, I'm sorry, I can't remember much from last night. Bet it was kinky though."_

 _"_ _You're such an ass." She smacks my hand away._

 _"_ _I'll show you ass."_

 _I smack her butt then pick her up and move further into the shower with her making her squeal._

I sent El a message letting him know we're on our way down to the private dining room I organised for us. Mia and El are already seated at the table when we enter.

"Well if it isn't the newlyweds" Elliot announces happily.

We stop and warily look at each other, what the fuck is he talking about, who got married? I know I had a shit tonne to drink but I would have remembered something like that. Wouldn't I?

"Oh my God you should see your faces, relax I'm joking." The asshole can't stop laughing, so pleased at his joke. "But I do have some other incriminating evidence." He wiggles his eyebrows at us.

"You're a dick." I state.

"God, what do you have?" Ana asks him warily.

I help Ana take a seat at the table where breakfast has been laid out for us. I say breakfast but more like lunch really.

El pulls out his phone and hands it over. There on the screen is a photo of a green bush, with two pairs of legs sticking out on the ground. One male and one female. Legs I would recognise anywhere. How the fuck did we end up falling in a bush?

"Oh my god, I don't remember that at all but this is pretty funny, however, you can't see my face so I'll deny everything." Ana tells him giving his phone back.

"It was at the end of the night. Mr Touchy Feely here couldn't keep his hands or lips to himself. You guys stopped to make out against the wall of bushes and fell right through. I haven't laughed so hard in years. I was going to leave you there but Taylor came to your rescue. That man deserves a raise."

I give him the finger. I have no doubt he would have left us there, at least for a while anyway.

"Where's Luke and Kate?" I ask.

"He just went to call the café and check up on things, he'll be back soon." Mia answers helping herself to the pastries.

"Katie was just waking up, she'll be down soon." Elliot says not realising what he said.

Interesting. _"Katie?"_ I mouth to him. I give my brother a knowing look then grab the jug of orange juice to pour some for myself and Ana. Let's see how this development plays out.

XXXXX

It's quiet on the plane ride back home, everyone is recovering from last night or sleeping. It was a great weekend, even with all the extra drama fighting it out in my own head.

I hand the letter to Ana which I had in my jeans pocket. I must have read it a dozen times now.

"What's this?" She asks taking it from me.

"The letter. I'm sorry I was acting like a dick yesterday."

"You don't need to apologise, I understand, but why are you giving me this."

"I want you to read it. It's easier than me talking about it."

She holds my hand in a tight grip.

"Are you sure, Christian? This is something personal."

"Yes." I need to share this with someone and I can't do that with my family right this moment and I just know Ana will not push me one way or the other regarding this.

I watch her eyes begin to scan the words, a gasp falling from her lips as the tears form then fall from her eyes. I continue to watch her until she reaches the end.

"This is…, I don't know what to say. What are you going to do?"

"Honestly, I have no idea. I feel torn, I need time to think everything over and about how I feel but according to that I may not have that much time."

She folds and hands the letter back to me. She takes my hand in hers and lays her head on my shoulder. Her voice is barely above a whisper yet I hear every word.

"When Andrew died I would go through all the things I never said to him which I should have or make myself crazy, in a way punishing myself with all the things he missed out on experiencing because it was unfair but I know in his heart he knew how much I loved him. If only for your peace of mind and to not have any regrets I think you should go see him, even if it's just once. You don't need to have a relationship with him or your brothers if that's not what you want, but at least you'll be able to give a dying man his wish and you'll have closure and peace on that part of your childhood but the decision is yours and I'll support whatever it is you want to do."

I just nod, she's given me a lot to think about. I think I need to see him but what do I say to the man who gave me life and then allowed me to think I wasn't wanted.

I can feel Ana falling asleep on me and kiss the top of her head. I close my eyes trying to imagine what meeting my biological father and half-brothers would be like but at the same time I can't help but feel it's a betrayal to Ella. He got to live a full life while hers was taken away. What the fuck am I going to do?


End file.
